stupid

[charlie1234]

I think I was asking, more so, if anyone has ever done anything against their better judgement: acting without thinking based on previous situations, other factors,etc. Also, how to recover your ego or self confidence after these incidences. I need reassurance that I am not a dangerous nurse and that we can have these rare moments and they do not mean were are stupid or incompetent! I uses to be told I was bright, should have gone to med school...Now I feel like I have become more stupid as I've aged (i'm only 30)-god help me when I'm older. I put so much pressure on myself to be "good" and when I fall short of my expectations I beat myself up. I'm in the middle...I am no longer the bright new nurse or one of the old timers. I have traveled and worked at 5 different hospitals and have been at this place 2 years-not long enough time for my colleagues to know my strenghts, etc. I would like them to think this is out of character for me. I guess time will heal this bruising of my ego. I just wanted to know if others have had such "brain farts" so to speak and how you've all recovered. Thanks,

[XingtheBBB, BSN, RN]

Yup. I know what you're saying completely. I know I've had shifts I'm not proud of. Maybe I could have fought harder for my pt etc. Not long ago I did the opposite of you. I was told to draw up doses of intubation meds and did. Then I stood there chatting like a dope with the Dr (who was standing by the door) and RRT (who was bagging at the head) I don't know what I was waiting for. I guess I didn't realize the RRT was going to tube, usually the DR does and I didn't realize this one wasn't comfortable with it. Suddenly my brain clicked and I said Oh! Do you want me to push these meds now?! They looked at me like I was nuts (I was!) and said they assumed I already did. Duh. At least it was more or less a no harm, no foul.

You're in that rough spot where maybe you're not yet an expert like some older nurses. But you know it, unlike some over confident new nurses. Maybe your complacent because you're burned out with bad outcomes or senseless efforts on moribund elderly patients? Maybe you need a change in units for new challenges?

[TemperStripe]

We learn best from our mistakes. Anyone who has never felt like you isn't trying hard enough!!! Be nice to yourself.

[tri-rn]

I responded to your first post but...

Yep. Been there, done that. (and it sounds like we're a lot alike - I too was told I should have gone to med school, etc etc). By the grace of God, no one has been hurt by my mistakes, and I hope and pray no one will be, because I am sure I will make more of them, no matter how hard I try. The trick is to learn - and it sounds like you have.