Stick it out in the OR or not?
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I am writing to request some advice from other OR nurses. I am wondering if the challenges/frustrations I am dealing with are fairly normal - especially for a new nurse - or if it's an indication that the OR is a not a great fit for me.
I am a 2nd career nurse (BSN last May), so this is not my first professional job - but it is by far the most challenging job I have ever had. I started in the OR in August at a large teaching hospital. These are the challenges:
1) The amount of information I have to learn. It's overwhelming at times. I try to take notes, listen, and focus - and some days I feel like I am making some progress, but our service is huge and there are many different kinds of surgeries to learn. I am still on orientation (I'm part-time so it will take me longer) and there are many days that I wonder how I could have possibly handled a situation if my preceptor wasn't there. Honestly, the thought of being on my own and taking call makes me sick to my stomach. After six months on a job - even part time - I usually feel comfortable. I just don't in the OR.
2) I find learning in a fish bowl difficult at times. Although I do my best to just jump in there as much as I can, ask questions and remember that the residents are also learning, being picked apart in front of others can be discouraging.
3) I understand that surgery is stressful, and I try not to take it personally when the doctors and residents are (or seem) rude and condescending. I guess one of the reasons I wanted to try the OR is because I thought it was a team atmosphere and I love working in a team, but it usually doesn't feel like a team to me. I feel like a handmaiden sometimes and really wonder if the doctors understand and/or appreciate what the nurses do? Maybe they do see us as team members but because of the intensity of the OR and my own inexperience, I miss it.
On the upside, I adore my preceptor. She is very kind, competent and patient - never loses her cool with me. She said I will be a wonderful OR nurse and is very encouraging. I like our team's nurse manager and ANM - they seem to care about the team. The NM especially has been very good to me and I don't want to take advantage of the opportunity she's given me. For the state I live in the pay is fine and the benefits are wonderful. We have a union, but we also have mandatory overtime.
I'm not saying I hate it or I am leaving tomorrow. I want to do well and also want to enjoy working in the OR. I am just having a tough time right now and am trying to sort through my frustration to see what is just normal, first year as a nurse, learning in the OR is tough - or is it possible I am in the wrong place for my strengths/weaknesses?
Any thoughts for those who have had some of the same challenges and persevered or left the OR? Anyone else new and wondering if this is the right place for them too?