Staying Professional

llg, PhD, RN · Nov 4, 2011

Don't talk about the patients. Period. And don't talk about details of your day. Period.

If you need to talk to your family and friends to relieve your stress, focus on YOUR feelings and YOUR reactions to things -- not about the things themselves. For example, say that you had a hard day at work because your were very busy with a bunch of new admissions, but don't discussions the admissions themselves. Or say you are frustrated because you are having some communications issues with your colleagues, but don't tell the detailed story of who said what about such and such patient.

You simply "can't go there" and your friends and family need to understand that.

This is one big reason why nurses "b****" to each other. The other people at work are the one group you can share some of the details because they are already involved. You need to establish positive relationships with them so that you can use them for support when you need it. There are certain types of support you will need -- and that you can't get from your friends and family because they will never understand -- because they can't be privy to the details of the situation.

How do you keep the stress from building up? You resolve the issues that are causing the stress -- and that usually requires the assistance of colleagues "in the know." Friends and families who don't fully understand can be of some immediate comfort -- but rarely can they help you actually resolve the issues causing the problems. So, use your family and friends for comfort -- focusing on your personal feelings. Use your colleagues for discussions of actual situations at work.

Colleagues can help you resolve the stress -- and the specific problems that are causing it. They need the details to help you, but they already know a lot of the detail.

Friends and family can help you put your job stress into perspective within your total life. They don't need work situation details to do that.

Don't confuse the 2 types of support. Don't expect too much help from your work colleagues with your personal life -- and don't expect your family and friends outside your work to solve your work problems. Keep everything in its proper place and you won't find yourself discussing patients with your family.

MUR.RN · Nov 4, 2011

Don't talk about the patients. Period. And don't talk about details of your day. Period.
If you need to talk to your family and friends to relieve your stress, focus on YOUR feelings and YOUR reactions to things -- not about the things themselves. For example, say that you had a hard day at work because your were very busy with a bunch of new admissions, but don't discussions the admissions themselves. Or say you are frustrated because you are having some communications issues with your colleagues, but don't tell the detailed story of who said what about such and such patient.
You simply "can't go there" and your friends and family need to understand that.
This is one big reason why nurses "b****" to each other. The other people at work are the one group you can share some of the details because they are already involved. You need to establish positive relationships with them so that you can use them for support when you need it. There are certain types of support you will need -- and that you can't get from your friends and family because they will never understand -- because they can't be privy to the details of the situation.
How do you keep the stress from building up? You resolve the issues that are causing the stress -- and that usually requires the assistance of colleagues "in the know." Friends and families who don't fully understand can be of some immediate comfort -- but rarely can they help you actually resolve the issues causing the problems.
Colleagues can help you resolve the stress -- and the specific problems that are causing it. They need the details to help you, but they already know a lot of the detail.
Friends and family can help you put your job stress into perspective within your total life. They don't need work situation details to do that.
Don't confuse the 2 types of support. Don't expect too much help from your work colleagues with your personal life -- and don't expect your family and friends outside your work to solve your work problems. Keep everything in its proper place and you won't find yourself discussing patients with your family.

I came across this thread. I am a new grad RN and I just recently joined Allnurses.com. I am glad I did.:) By following this thread it gave me a heads-up on what to do and expect on my new career. Thank you.

63539 · Nov 5, 2011

Wonderful advice and knowledge! Thankyou so much. I think you hit the nail right on the head when you said that you need to keep your personal issues within your friends and family, and work issues within your collegues and keep the complaining out of it. I know that I am not the only one who has or will ever feel this way and it scares me to know that one slip of the tongue could cause me to break hippa, but im willing to do or try anything if it means not doing so. I take this job and career very serious and want to take all measures possible to ensure professionalism. Thankyou!