Squeaky

[Whispera, MSN, RN]

Long ago, in a land far away, I experienced my first day in nursing school clinicals. I was paired with a friend and we were both anxious and excited to start. Being nervous we were almost attached at the hip as we moved through the hospital unit.

We were assigned a patient who called himself Squeaky, whose room was right across from the nursing station. He had a long history of psychiatric and alcohol-abuse issues and was hospitalized for a liver disorder. He also said he was the inventor of television, bricks, teleportation, and many other things. He had also painted all the lines on all the streets in America. He talked non-stop and we had no idea what was true and what wasn't true.

Our first task was to set things up so he could take care of washing himself for the morning. Attached at the hip, we moved toward the linen cart and gathered everything we thought he would need, including about 5 towels, but interestingly, no washcloths! We took everything to his room and got him a nice basin of warm sudsy water. He was seated in his bed, happily washing his face with his hands, wearing a hospital gown and a bandana, which was tied around his neck. We said we'd be right back and went back to the cart to get washcloths, still attached at the hip.

When we got back to his room, he was standing in the doorway, washing himself with his bandanna, stark naked, singing "Deep in the Heart of Texas." We handed him the washcloths and gently closed the door. We quickly moved down the hall to quiet, more private space and burst into laughter. We could hardly control ourselves!

In a little while we went back to his room to do our assessment and he was back in bed, smiling, talkative, wearing his bandanna around his neck once more.

The morals of the story: Don't take yourself too seriously, AND don't assume two heads are better than one!