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karlita
26 Posts
A little less than a year ago I had a similar experience. Working as an interpreter I got to go into a room with a very nice woman who had been trying very hard to get pregnant to instruct her on what she needed to do before the doc came in to examine her. She was there for vag bleeding, and I assisted her into a gown (she was really dizzy). I threw away the pad she was wearing and left to get her registration papers. When I walked back in she had dug her pad out of the garbage and was holding it. She asked me if that was her baby. I said well the doctor is going to come in to see you in a minute. She repeated the question pointing at a little pink spot on her pad. I came closer and looked. On her pad was a little, flat pink baby lying on it's 'side' no bigger than my thumb on which you could see a little leg starting to form, a little arm with little bumps for fingers, a head with a big black eye. I didn't know what to say. I just said excuse me and left the room. I started crying as soon as I got out of there and told the nurse and the doctor what I had seen. I had never cried before, and I apologized because I thought they would think I was unprofessional. The nurse and the doc both hugged me and said that it is not unprofessional to cry. It is what makes us human to our patients.
I just started NS last week. I don't think anything can prepare you for things like that, but I am glad to know that it's ok to cry and express emotion. I think you handled it very well. It's difficult to be in that situation not knowing enough to know what to say, but I don't know that having more experience could ever make a situation like that more bearable. I can say that within a few hours after finishing with that mom I got a call to OB. This time I got to watch a lady partsl delivery the second one I had ever seen...well not counting the one I saw when I was 4. It was a wonderful reminder that while we get to see and be part of some pretty sad things in the hospital we are also privileged to see and be a part of many wonderful miracles. I'm sure you'll get to see them too :)