Small Town Hospitals

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Hello all!

Last May I graduated from a diploma nursing program from a small, cliquey town and now work in an area almost as bad as where I graduated from. Prior to nursing school I went to a university of 30,000 students and lived in a city of 55,000 people, not to mention moving 3,000 miles to even attend nursing school. From the beginning I've struggled being away from my family and friends, but now that my job is so stressful it's all coming to a head. Most of the older nurses are horrible to me and don't bother to hide their dislike. Regardless of what I do it's wrong and at least once a week I have to fight not to cry on shift. Recently I've been having anxiety attacks and can't relax when I get home. I'm constantly worried that I've killed someone or I'll get fired or made a grievous mistake and ruined someone's life due to my idiocy.

Yesterday I was working and in a span of 3 hours I had 3 discharges that needed done in an hour (not to mention 2 of those 3 people were constantly harping on me to hurry up and let them leave,) got a new assignment, an admission who was very rude, and had to deal with 2 confused and belligerent older people yelling at me. I just about had it and was standing in the hall saying, 'I don't care if X gets his sugar checked because I'm done being yelled at. I'm done. I don't care.' The charge nurse was sitting there and told me that I can't say that and it's my job to care. Yeah, it is my job to care, but is it my job to get yelled at by confused patients, or talked down to by doctors, or harped on by patients, or to be bullied by older nurses?! My boss tells me to ask for help, but there's only a few nurses I can actually ask for help without them gossiping behind my back or flippantly giving me attitude. It's just a lot to handle, especially because I'm not from the area, don't have any nurse friends, or friends here at all for that matter, and I'm so miserable since I can't relax or be happy I'm so worried. It's not even been 4 months working as a nurse and I'm worried I'm already burnt out. I don't want to be a bad nurse or be so malcontent, but it's all just so overwhelming.

Thank you for reading all this. If anyone has any constructive criticism or advice I'd be grateful and would appreciate any coping strategies or tips.

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

The first year sucks. Find some outlets for your anxiety and give it a little time.

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Specializes in ICU, Postpartum, Onc, PACU.

The first 6 months-year is usually not very good and you will always have those crazy shifts where you can't get everything done on time. It was hard for me to accept that at first, but as you grow your nursing balls, it will come to you. These problems won't go away completely no matter where you work, but it does sound as though your coworkers aren't too helpful and that hurts as well.

If you can find another job after you first year is up, then do that because it seems like this place isn't conducive to you as a nurse.

Also, like the other nurse said, find something you like to do that REALLY unwinds you either before or after work (I've seriously considered getting a punching bag several times, but I don't have room for one at the moment), be it music, working out, calling a friend/family member, etc.

Good luck!

XO

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