9 simple rules for the smart @$$ prankster.

[screwielouie]

In response to Lisa's wanting lessons from us smartass pranksters.

Well Miss Lisa, Lesson #1, If it makes you cringe, do it to someone else. #2 If it grosses you out or freaks you out, scares you or is painful in any way, NEVER let anyone know. This gives the illusion of invincibility. Remember, pain is weakness leaving the body. #3 if people would never expect it, DO it. It crumbles their sense of security and removes their situational awareness thereby allowing a flank attack while at the same time, making them think twice before they screw with you. #4 ALWAYS keep a smartass grin on your face when you look around. Make eye contact with everyone and smile. This makes them think that they have been discovered and their guilty conscience by very human nature will tell on them making a wonderful deterrent to counter pranks. This also makes supervisors think you are unstable thus inspiring them to carefully choose their words. #5 If you see any suspicious activity with people staring at you or hear their voices lower when you near them, DO NOT ignore this, you are not delusional, they lowered their voice for a reason!! SOOOO when you see this, whisper to them "I am WAY ahead of you amatures" Then walk away laughing but walk without swinging your arms and staring at a fixed point in front of you. This alone gets attention. #6 If you are going to play a prank, make sure you have the balls to go through with it or do not attempt it. If it is embarassing or painful, master your poker face. You will be surprised how little others can take. If they break first, you win!!!! #7 If you can think it up, you can do it. Just take into account these factors: How much do I cherish my job, is it a safety risk, Is this TOO out of character for me, do I have enough time and am I patient enough. Patience and planning is the key to success. Remember 1 shot 1 kill. #8 Unless you NEED outside help in the clean delivery of your prank, NEVVVVVVVER! tell anyone else. Loose lips sink ships. Even if they're good intentioned, the very thought that they posess a secret is more of a high than drugs and has more obvious outward signs which although involuntary, are clear. Keep it to yourself!! People will most likely see the aftermath of your plot. Most important #9 always be willing to accept the consequenses and NEVER sell out your accomplices. This is both bad practice and unethical. Keeping the faith allows for future trust and help when needed. Good luck. Any questions, ask.

Louie

[banditrn]

Also, remember when things have been quiet for awhile between rival departments, it's perfectly OK to fill a co-workers purse locker with packing peanuts, knowing she will assume that it was the RIVAL department that had done it.

Then, waunder into the locker room a few minutes AFTER said co-worker opens locker, sympathize, and offer to 'help' clean up the peanuts that have drifted all over the floor - as co-worker is swearing vengeance toward rival dept. - say nothing, cause NOW the games are on again!!:yelclap:

[screwielouie]

Youv'e GOT to be a good prankster to know that one!!!! You are dedicated!!!! My good friend bandit. I like your style!!