Should I stay or Should I go?

Published

Okay, I am lost now...My husband lost his job in February of this year. He was our only provider-went from 6 figures to nothing over night. I had decided to go back to school for nursing last summer and was finishing up prereqs for the BSN when this happened. My husband also owns his own business and had been doing it only part time when he was working full time. Since February he has kicked it up to full time. He is doing very well with it. Here's the dilemma: He has been offered a job in TN (we live in FL). I applied to the BSN to begin in January when we THOUGHT we were staying here (no hope of job), and was accepted! They want my husband to start right away-doing what he did before-management, good salary,great benefits;blah, blah, blah...Should he go leaving us here? Should he say no thanks and try to make it a go with this business? We have a lot of close family and friends to help-the kids and I(ages 8 and 6) could live with this folks if he went to TN. I don't want to give up my spot and don't know which is the best choice?!?!? How will I study? How will my kids like seeing dad on the weekends only? UGH!!!!:banghead:

Kelli

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Have you looked into the nursing programs in TN?? It would be worth it to see what it would take for you to transfer there! If that's not likely and you want to stay and go for it, you can ABSOLUTELY do it!! It will be tough but you will do what you have to do to make it work know what I mean?? Only you can decide whats best for you and your family!! Best of luck with whatever you decide!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thanks-The TN programs all have different prereqs that I would have to complete, and the one school in particular in Chattanooga requires patho as a pre req! The wait to finish pre reqs and to get into a program would probably take FOREVER!! I am 35, ya know?;) Kelli

Up Vote Up Vote ×

i'm kinda in a similar situation. my husband and i both lost our jobs within weeks of each other and decided to use our misfortune and return to school. he immediately was accepted into a bachelors program to complete his degree in it. me on the other hand had a more difficult time. i started my pre-reqs for nursing school back in 1994 then took a long break (got married, had kids etc.)

to no surprise, no schools were willing to accept my outdated classes. this was an absolute bummer for me because i was determined not have to retake a&p 1, 2 and micro. i called almost every school in the tri-state area and heard the same response-classes too old. in total desperation, i decided to call a few schools up north (ny to be exact where my mother-in-law lives). amazingly, i found a school that was willing to accept all my credits-with me having to repeat nothing!!!

my initial excitement was totally dampened by the reality that i would have to leave my husband and kids to pursue my education. my husband was my biggest supporter! he encouraged me to good ahead and fulfill my dreams while he planned on continuing his degree here.

so i made the tough decision to relocate to get my nursing degree (i leave in a couple of days). although, i know it's gonna be difficult being away from them, in the end the sacrifice will be worth it!

so in the end, the decision is yours. good luck in whatever you decide!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

WOW! So you'll be stayingwith your MIL in NY, leaving your husband and kids at home? How long is your program? Mine is 18 mos for my BSN. How old are your kids? I think I could be without my husband for 18 months ( seeing him weekends only) but how do you think your kids will do? Thanks for the help!

Kelli

Up Vote Up Vote ×

yes, i will be staying in ny just not quite with my mother-in-law. she lives approx 5 hrs away from the school so i've opted to rent an apartment. at least i could go and see her on the wkends especially when i'm feeling home sick or just want some real good home cooking!

it's a sacrifice and my kids (15 and 11) are dealing with it. my youngest-my son is a typical "mama's boy" so he's having the hardest time but he understands why it needs to be done.

i leave on the 18th and yes it is a bit scary as i get closer to time but i keep reminding myself, it will be well worth it in the end. :nurse:

Up Vote Up Vote ×

You are brave!! IF my husband goes to TN, I will probably live with my inlaws (they are in the same school district-so the kids won't have much difficulty), which IS NOT GOING TO BE FUN! She is great, but wants to direct everything! At least Iwill have someone there at night and when the kids need drop off/pick up at school. I just hate my husband being so far away. I keep thinking, like you--it'll be worth it in the end! Kelli

Up Vote Up Vote ×

i'm not sure if i would call it brave, but i have no choice. i scared out of my mind! i called my sister last night (she's a psych major) and had to have a "session" over the phone. she kinda helps clear things up for me whenever i'm feeling nervous or fearful.

i also hate that i will be away from my husband and kids but whenever i have a long weekend, i plan on making a trip home. i could understand not wanting to live with the "in-laws"-i don't think i would like that either but at least you will have help with the kids. and the funny thing is time flys by so quickly. before you know it, you getting prepared for graduation and reuniting with your husband.

so keep your head up and look towards the prize at the end of the road-rn. like you, i'm getting older too (33 to be exact) so it's either now or never. good luck!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thanks for your honest input! It's good to know someone with the same set of circumstances-older with kids, away from spouse!! Keep in touch and let me know how you are doing! I start in January and it's only 5 semesters (including summers!) til I'm done!! Good luck! Kelli

Up Vote Up Vote ×

i will keep in touch. just finish writing my final "to do list". ny here i come. it will be alot of :typing but we can do it!!! :up:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion