Should I even be here?

[what2donow]

So, if I spend every slow night I have at work searching the internet for a new job and researching my little heart out different possible career paths for nurses (and not), that probably means I'm in the wrong area, right? I am so tired of this and just wish I could figure out what the right career is for me, but I feel lost and like I have no one to look to for advice. Does anyone have any thoughts on how to find your nursing niche? I would love a career counselor who specifically knew about the various paths for nurses, but I don't know if such a thing exists.

I work in the ICU and feel that I am just not cut out for it. I am fearful all the time and feel like a klutz and a moron. This pains me, because I have always thought of myself as an intelligent person- did very well in school without a huge effort, am known as the "smart" one of my friends, and always got compliments on my performance at my previous job (which was like a specialty med-surg). I do realize that it takes time to feel comfortable, especially in a place as complex and intense and the ICU, but my gut feeling is that I want OUT before having the experiences it takes to become comfortable! I don't know that I am particularly suited to bedside nursing at all, actually.

Anyway, getting long-winded. Anyone with advice, or advice on where to find those with advice??

[Tait, MSN, RN]

It sounds like you are hitting a very familiar wall for a lot of nurses, myself included. Confidence.

When I hit my two year mark I was constantly looking for a new profession. I was looking for anything to get out of nursing, a profession that I really knew I loved. However at that time I just wanted something that didn't have the kind of responsibility I was facing. Making coffee at Starbucks sounded like a dream.

Then one day my manager pulled me in her office and was like "what's going on". I told her of my fear of mistakes, that I thought I was not strong enough to handle a busy med/surg floor. I told her I had little to no confidence in my skills even though I had pages of compliments from patients and wonderful reviews.

So we made a change. I started doing charge. I found that being given permission of sorts to help other nurses made me more confident in what I could do, and it was exactly the medicine. For me. Now I am not sasying run out and ask for a charge position.

My suggestions are as follows:

1. Think about and list the reasons you became a nurse.

2. List a few amazing patients you have had, or amazing experiences saving someones life, catching that little thing just at the right time, or when you made someone smile just by being there.

3. Talk to your manager about your worries, concerns and confidence. If they are an effective manager they will listen and offer feedback.

4. Look to your peers. Find someone you trust, someone knowledgeable and talk to them. So many of us have gone through this, that you might just find a story or two that make you feel less alone.

5. Take some time off. See if your manager can schedule you so that you can have five to six days off in a row. (I actually try to do this once a month). Then just R-E-L-A-X. :)

This job is demanding no matter where you are, but sticking it out sometimes is the best medicine. Remember, at the end of each day you have made a difference, for the better, in the life of another and everyone connected to them.

Take what you will of this, apply it and then toss out things that don't work for you :)

Tait

PS. NSO malpractice insurance is always a comfort as well for as little as $99.00 a month!

[PedsDrNurseTheo, ADN, BSN, MSN, DNP, RN, EMT-P, NP]

:yeahthat:

My only question is - how long have you been working in ICU? The general rule of thumb is 1 year to competency on an ICU level - it took me about six months to stop feeling like a complete idiot. And I've got some experience behind me in crisis situations and critical thinking skills. I still get up most mornings and say Alan Shepard's prayer - "Dear God, please don't let me $#*% up . . ." and I add "too badly".

I've got some confidence in my practice now, but things happen and I still feel stupid. I'm not saying you're wrong - you may need to 'listen to your gut' and bedside nursing, or ICU nursing, may not be where you need to be. But sometimes your 'gut feeling' is just inexperience and fear - and those are never worth listening to when it comes to making career choices. Fear is good when it makes you cautious - it isn't good when it paralyzes you.

Good luck.