Self Doubt

My first job as a new grad RN was outpatient dialysis. You see a lot of blood and sometimes it's like a seen from Psycho. When I first started and had patients bleeding from their fistula post needle removal, I would freeze. My coworkers would have to yell at me to get gauze, tape, etc. It took some time, but I learned how to react and can now stop the bleeding before the bandages are saturated.

It also took at least 6 months to learn how to react to patients drop in BP and unresponsiveness. Bleeding and hypotension happen fairly regularly in dialysis so it took me 6 months - 1 year before I felt comfortable and competent responding to these situations.

If you've only experienced 2 choking incidents in 1 year I can see how you would still be freezing up. As with most things, the more you do it, the more comfortable you feel. It may help for you to practice or run simulations of these events so you feel more competent. I would also ask the more experienced nurses you work with the steps for responding to these situations and any words of wisdom they have.

Dealing with choking/unresponsive/coding patients is scary. We are responsible for intervening to save people's lives. It's normal to have an "oh ****" moment. As has been repeated many times on AN, it's more concerning when new nurses don't doubt themselves and don't ask questions. If this is the only issue that is causing you to doubt your career choice, I'd say give it some more time. Educate yourself, put yourself in situations that give you more exposure to things that scare you.

With time, experience and education you'll become better at handling these situations.