RN-need advice about previous job offer

[newbie RN]

I was offered a position in LTC on the rehab unit but turned it down because I thought I was getting a position at a hospital. The hospital even gave me a recruitment interview and discussed benefits in detail. I was so sure I was getting a position at the hospital that I sent a letter to the LTC saying I accepted another position, and after a few months of doing shadows at the hospital they decide to tell me they aren't offering a position at this time, and to come back in a year. I did five shadows at the hospital and wasted all that time when I could've been at another job actually working. I need advice on what to do at this point. Should I call the LTC center and tell them the other position didn't work out? I have been looking for a nursing job now for 9 months, I graduated back in December 2010 with an RN. I was offered the position back in July, and now its September and still no job. I don't know if I would still be considered for employment at the first place since I turned down the position. I feel like I ruined my only chance for a job. I have been told by hospitals that I lack confidence and don't seem strong enough to handle the stressful positions, I am not even given a chance to prove myself. I get nervous in interviews, and feel like new RNs are given the brush off unless they know someone on the inside or look perfect. I am overweight, but I am trying to lose weight right now. I don't know if I haven't been offered positions due to my weight, and said it was due to lack of confidence, so they don't get into trouble. Everyone else I graduated with in 2010 has a job in a hospital right now.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

What do you have to lose? Contact the LTC and tell them the job fell through before you ever started and ask if they would consider you. You have nothing to lose!