RN Licensure suspension

[Nurseypoo11]

My license was suspended back in April 2023 after a 2 year court battle. I settled in court for an intervention in lieu of conviction, which ultimately meant I was guilty...for Felony drug abuse. Instead of go through another lengthy fight with the board I  signed an agreement that will allow me to return (pending I jump through hoops of fire,) within the next 1.5 years. I will then go through a 3 year probationary period. Yay! I can honestly say that my suspension was expected, but now that its in effect I am incredibly depressed and financially broken. Anybody have any advice? Any work advice? Help me find the silver lining, please!

[paidmydues]

Hi NurseyPoo:

Once a year or so I get an update in my SPAM folder from Allnurses and I usually just ignore it. I just read your post and felt compelled to reply. I think you may be able to access my journey in the past posts archive...we all have one. You have been fighting hard for two years already which is so impressive. I received a DUI in2013 while "on call.” I never saw a patient that night. I did everything the BON and the court wanted me to do to the letter...and then probation for 2 years in a supposedly very liberal state. I was licensed at the time in several non-compact states and they all individually came after me...a nightmare. That does not seem to be your issue tho. Even on probation in your home state will be HELL. I had to move across state to take a substandard job on probation. I worked for 3 years there until I retired on my 63rd birthday. It was horrible. On weekends, if it was my day to test, I was made to drive 40 miles one way to the nearest big city to pee in a cup and then return home... only to return to work that night with less than 5 hours of sleep for a 12 hour shift. Yea, restore our impaired nurses to full practice my ***. I became homeless for awhile between court and finding a probation job. I still cry when I think of it and still have PTSD. Taking into account that we are different people, etc., my advice is this unfortunately: Get out. They will NEVER forgive you. Forge a new path. Go back to school. Heal. Love yourself. There are other ways of helping others than nursing. I found a tolerable rural hospital where I was able to work my way back to ICU, infusion clinic and ED, but IT WAS NOT WORTH IT. I apologize for the negativity, but you need to hear the truth. I am now 67 and retired and live in Hawaii. I am mostly healed from the hell they put me through and am happy. Please do not suffer the way most of us have. Good luck Darling. Paidmydues.

[Nurseypoo11]

Though this is not the response I wanted to hear, it is definitely one of the thoughts looming in the back of my mind. I have barely gotten over the trauma of the situation itself, and here I am dreading the future. I am an impeccable Nurse, and I am at a total loss of what else to do. Nursing is my life, far too much of it to be honest. Going back to school feels so daunting. Giving up the fight feels so belittling, and continuing the fight seems so so exhausting-and EXPENSIVE. I am 38 years old and I have a family I am supposed to be supporting....yet here I am on the brink of financial and mental breakdown....ugh. I feel you, and I wish I could say I didn't. ?