Real Life 101 ...

Published

Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.

Ready ? ;)

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

~~~~~~~~

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

~~~~~~~~

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

~~~~~~~~

There are two kinds of pedestrians - the quick and the dead.

~~~~~~~~

Life is sexually transmitted.

~~~~~~~~

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

~~~~~~~~

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said,"Quit while you're ahead?"

~~~~~~~~

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

~~~~~~~~

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

~~~~~~~~

Subject: 2 EMOTIONS Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich!

~~~~~~~~~

Get the last word in: Apologize.

~~~~~~~~~

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks

about seeing UFOs like they use to?

~~~~~~~~~~

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

~~~~~~~~~~

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

~~~~~~~~~~

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

~~~~~~~~~~

In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is

weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

~~~~~~~~~~

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

~~~~~~~~~~

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole

box to start a campfire?

~~~~~~~~~~

AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: You read about all these Terrorists-- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas,

some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two

days late with a video and those people are all over you. I think we should put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.

Have a great day, Allnurses ! :D

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Mostly LTC, some acute and some ER,.

LOL

Up Vote Up Vote ×

:rotfl:

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Great!! love these, i may have to incorporate some of these sayings in my every day life:roll

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Step down, ICU, ER, PACU, Amb. Surg.
Subject: 2 EMOTIONS Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich!.......... In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is

weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Hehehehehehehehe!!:chuckle :lol2: :roll Oh I loved these!!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion