following info compiled from psychcom.net:
consider this statement:
“suicide is not chosen; it happens
when pain exceeds
resources for coping with pain.”
that’s all it’s about. you are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. it doesn’t even mean that you really want
to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. if i start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if i add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. willpower has nothing to do with it. of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.
don’t accept it if someone tells you, “that’s not enough to be suicidal about.” there are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. what might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. the point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.
when pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. it is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.
you can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. both are possible....
people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. they will simply care for you. find one of them. now. use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what’s going on with you. it is okay to ask for help. try:
- send an anonymous e-mail to the samaritans
- call 1-800-suicide in the u.s.
- teenagers, call covenant house nineline, 1-800-999-9999
- look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line
- call a psychotherapist
- carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen
but don’t give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.
read this if you are suicidal.
help if you are suicidal now.
how to help yourself when you're feeling suicidal
locate a crisis center close to you.
international suicide helplines
additional things to read at this site
- how serious is our condition? ...“he only took 15 pills, he wasn’t really serious...” if others are making you feel like you’re just trying to get attention... read this.
- why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal? ...while most suicidal people recover and go on, others struggle with suicidal thoughts and feelings for months or even years. suicide and post-traumatic stress disorder (ptsd).
- recovery from grief and loss ...has anyone significant in your life recently died? you would be in good company... many suicidal people have recently suffered a loss.
- the stigma of suicide that prevents suicidal people from recovering: we are not only fighting our own pain, but the pain that others inflict on us... and that we ourselves add to. stigma is a huge complicating factor in suicidal feelings.
- resources about depression ...if you are suicidal, you are most likely experiencing some form of depression. this is good news, because depression can be treated, helping you feel better.
do you know someone who is suicidal... or would you like to be able to help, if the situation arises? learn what to do, so that you can make the situation better, not worse.
the samaritans are a charity, founded in 1953, which exists to provide confidential emotional support to any person, who is suicidal or despairing; and to increase public awareness of issues around suicide and depression.
trained volunteers provide this service 24 hours every day. it is free. you are guaranteed absolute confidentiality and that you will not be judged.
samaritan volunteers are not professional counselors or psychotherapists. they are caring volunteers who have been trained in the art of listening and empathy.
you can talk to a trained samaritan volunteer by e-mail. this is a free service
the samaritans maintain a website listing centers and telephone helplines around the world. as of this writing, 50 countries were listed, and the website is available in 15 languages.