Please help!!!! Shift psychosis

[mickeyrose912]

Hello, I am in desperate need of advice from my fellow nurses. I need to freely talk about my thoughts and feelings with those that would be able to understand or relate. I am not seeking attention, i just really need help.

I am a 24 year old nurse that has been working the night shift on a medical Surgical unit in Florida for about 5 months. I love nursing and have had few struggles with learning to be a new nurse compared to my peers, but where i really suffer is with the 7p-7a shift 3 times a week. I am naturally a 5-7am kinda gal. All through college i would be up and at the gym first thing in the morning. I am that friend that falls asleep around midnight. The past 6 months i have been struggling to sleep during the day and even at night when i have a few nights off. I have no problem staying awake while at work, just sleeping in general.I am lucky if i am able to sleep 6 hrs, and that is often with waking up a few times and with melatonin, etc.

Some of the chronic things that i have been experiencing over the last 6 months:

-nausea and GI issues

-short of breath,chest pain

-chronic fatigue...i could fall asleep while talking to someone at points or be up all night

-constant migraines and blurry vision

-inability to focus/poor memory/attention span

-lack of interest in being around others (even my supportive boyfriend that likes to visit)

-picking fights/moody

-constant unprovoked crying and panic attacks that i feel unable to control

-random bouts of suicidal thoughts

-severe PMS mood swings and psychosis (I have been on birth control 5 years with no problems)

I started having the more mild symptoms at first, but thing are only progressing and it is scarring the crap out of me. I feel like i am developing some sort of psychosis/depression/constant panic attacks from lack of sleep. I have no medical history other than some mild anxiety before a test in nursing school,which is normal, but never full blown panic attacks/mental breakdowns.

Here is what i have been doing to help myself over the last 6 months:

-reading up on how to cope with shift work and journaling thoughts

-talking to other nurses

-exercising regularly (but not too close to bed)

- eating very well and taking vitamins

-developing a strict sleep schedule:

- black out curtains with ducktape to seal off all light, AC to 60 degrees, eye mask, shades driving home, snacks and water at the bedside, hot bath before bed, no being on the computer, texting, etc before bed, getting herbal sleeping mix from whole foods with melatonin, valerian root, hops.

-Not allowing my boyfriend to spend the night after a few shifts or the night before

- experimenting with my schedule to see what works best (3 in a row, every other, two and one,etc)

-not drinking any alcohol or caffeine at all for months

-scheduling myself around these new PMS swings

- i have been seeing a dr: been taking 10mg of prozac for a little over a month, xananx .5 rarely and i have 10mg of ambien that i took a twice. I really dont like taking medication.

despite all of my efforts i still feel like mess. Last night i had a mental breakdown. I went into work and was smiling, yet crying during shift report. It was an easy night (only 5 pts vs my usual 8) but i had 9 full out crying panic attacks in the bathroom before midnight. I was a mess and so embarrassed. I tried so hard to hide them. A few coworkers saw me and unfortunately the nursing supervisor did as well. He called me in the office for a big meeting at 3 am and we talked about going to day shift. I even spoke with the charge nurse and director of nursing the next morning. They all agree that i need days, but nothing is open right now.

What can i do? I am contracted to the hospital for 2 more years. I am a mess. Sometimes i feel like my life depends on it. I never told anyone this ( id be Baker acted) but i get crazy suicidal thoughts and it scares the crap out me (yes, these were before the low dose of Prozac).

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? I was never moody, depressed or anxious before. I really think lack of sleep is making me mentally insane giving me acute psychosis at times.

PLEASE HELP! I am worried about my sanity and the safety of my patients!

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

Hello, there. We are sorry this is happening to you...

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