Please Help!!!!!-Advice needed!

redwinggirlie · Jun 19, 2005

Try making a list of the pro's and con's of working at each place or perhaps posting here and finding out what people think of each place. If you could change the fact your interview was bad, would you think differently about the second job? Trust your instincts. Here, I think you are concerned about the distance and being so far away from your family. A good point. Take your time and find a job that caters more to you and your family's needs. There just might be another place out there that makes your heart take a leap! Good luck.

Katnip, RN · Jun 19, 2005

I would say go with your heart. It doesn't sound like you're comitting to a particular number of years, and you'll soon know if it doesn't work out with your family.

Talk it over with the kids. They are old enough to offer some helpful solutions.

If it turns out this is your real love, what's the chances of you moving closer to work?

ZASHAGALKA, RN · Jun 19, 2005

When I'm faced with decisions like that, I say a prayer and meditate and usually, the answer becomes apparent to me.

But let me say that I was thinking, go with the 2nd choice, LOL. But. But. The reason why is that I'm an ICU and like ICU tons more (having done both). That might not be the case for you.

There is an attraction to being at a 'magnet' hospital. But I wouldn't discount a place because the recruiter wasn't on her game. How often do you have to deal with her after you're hired?

But in my minds eye, the extra commute, the kid situation, and everything else takes a backseat to what you want to do. All those other issues can be dealt with in other ways.

Not to wax religiously, but let me sum up Ecclesiastes in a sentence: Life is meaningless, that being the case, the sum of your life is 3 fold and in order of importance: Praise God, Enjoy the people in your life, and find a job that makes you happy.

So, find a job that makes you happy. The working conditions are important, but so is the actual job itself. Will you be happy as an oncology nurse? happier than working critical care? Will you be happy if it takes more arranging kids to work? Be happy.

Oh and, 8 DOLLARS AN HOUR NIGHT DIFF?!? WHERE IS THAT JOB SO I CAN TAKE IT IF YOU DON'T!

~faith,

Timothy.

TypicalPicses · Jun 19, 2005

I would say go with your heart. It doesn't sound like you're comitting to a particular number of years, and you'll soon know if it doesn't work out with your family.
Talk it over with the kids. They are old enough to offer some helpful solutions.
If it turns out this is your real love, what's the chances of you moving closer to work?

for both places, I'll be comitted (lol) to work 2 years; or have to pay them back for internship/fellowship classes.

And there really isn't any way to move closer-I am in a semi-rural area, the place where the first job is in is Washington D.C.-you can imagine the house prices anywhere closer.--that's just the thing

I also owe the state that I live in 2 years for a scholarship or pay them back like a student loan-the 2nd plac eis in my state

When I'm faced with decisions like that, I say a prayer and meditate and usually, the answer becomes apparent to me.
So, find a job that makes you happy. The working conditions are important, but so is the actual job itself. Will you be happy as an oncology nurse? happier than working critical care? Will you be happy if it takes more arranging kids to work? Be happy.
That's just the thing-I don't know! I've never been an oncology nurse or an ICU nurse! I sound so whiney-but I am not usually, I am just really confused. I keep circling round and round between the two-I am not much of a driver, but that's because I don't drive alot, so I guess that I'd get used to it. But I do worry about the whole thing with my kids-they are big and they do help, and really they are super kids, I am so blessed with them-but three teen boys- alone for as much as 5-7 hours or more? err! I have no trouble making decisions for my family, my patients, etc, etc, but this has me stuck! Why do you like ICU over oncology?
The only odd thing about the 2nd job, is that the recruiter keeps being vague about particulars, telling me "I'll firm things up with you next(this coming) week" even though I've talked with her three times since interviewing. I know when hospital orientation is, and that's about it. The first place was super-organized, i even got a hand-written welcome card from the senoir vp of operations & CNO...It's like they are neck and neck, pro and con.

snowfreeze, BSN, RN · Jun 19, 2005

Tough choice, career vs kids. Get the family involved and let them know of your career goals and how that will effect them. A family commitment after discussion will help whatever decision go smoother for everyone. Plus you are teaching a wonderful life skill to your kids in the process. Decision making with future planning goals.

Remember that the dream job will always be there even if you don't take it now, you may need to persue it more agressively at another time; that job or one like it will always be available.

And, welcome to nursing!!

ZASHAGALKA, RN · Jun 19, 2005

Warning, long post coming intended for OP and might bore others:

The reason why the first hospital is on their game w/ recruiting you is that they are a 'magnet' hospital, which means that they have gone out of their way to recruit and keep nurses, so of course the way they do things is very recruiter friendly. It'll probably also be retention friendly. That's certainly something to consider.

Imagine this: 'you have cancer'. Everybody you take care of in Oncology is having their lives turned upside down. Now add chemo and radiation, low white counts (always sick) and low red cell counts (always tired). Can you be a miracle there? Absolutely, I'm not knocking it at all. I worked oncology for 1.5 yrs. The downside for me was that I had 4-6 patients and some chemo runs that literally took 1 plus hours at the bedside (long slow pushes of multiple drugs that have to go slow with frequent checks to ensure no infiltrations). I found that the most important medicine that I had at my disposal was just holding someone's hand or sitting down with them for 10 minutes. And not having the time to do that was just too depressing for me.

In critical care, you have your share of the same psychosocial, end of life concerns, but with 2 patients, I have much more time to be there for someone and/or their family. One of the things I found out after I moved to critical care is that working w/ 4-6 or more patients had so robbed me of that kind of time, that my skills to interact at length in those situations were actually very weak.

Very early in my critical care experience, I had a young child die on my shift. After everything was over, one of my mentors came to me and said, basically, 'suck it up and learn how to deal in those situations or you won't last here'. Sounds harsh, but it was a wake-up call for me: how can I be there for somebody if I need somebody to be there for me?? This advice btw, wasn't meant like it sounds, it was candid advice from somebody I considered a friend before and after that incident.

I like critical care because it lets me be a more 'complete' nurse. I don't have to worry about what's going on w/ 5 other patients down the hall when I'm spending in-depth time with a patient and/or family. My other patient is more often than not in the next room and literally a call (not bell, a, 'hey, you out there') away.

And oncology takes time for improvement that is normally finally seen in a doctor's office (if they're on an oncology unit, they're still sick!). Many of my patients get better before my eyes or because of my efforts - results I can see. I like that; it's more satisfying for me.

The downside is that critical care is intense. As such, it attracts 'intense' personalities. You cannot be a mouse in ICU; you must either be or quickly learn to be an assertive nurse. I found this to be a benefit; you might not be able to tell, but I'm much more assertive than I used to be.

I'm not telling you not to go to oncology. You asked about some idea of differences, and I was relating why I preferred one over the other. This is my personal experience, I'm sure you can find oncology nurses that will tell you to go there. In my experience, after having moved to ICU, I can't imagine working anywhere else.

I think you're right; it's a tough choice.

You must keep us up to date on your choice.

~faith,

Timothy.

llg, PhD, RN · Jun 19, 2005

Wow ... you do have a tough choice to make. The people who have responded before me have given you lots to think about. Let me add one thing.

I am far along in my career, having been a nurse for about 28 years and in a leadership position. I have had several jobs in several different places -- some good and some bad.

A few weeks ago, I was contacted by a head-hunter about a "dream job" in the Washington DC area. Really, it was the job I had spent most of my career preparing myself for, the job I always said that I wanted.

However, the more we talked about the realities of taking that job (the sky-high housing costs that would more than consume the increased salary ... the financial and emotional costs of a long commute ... the longer work week ... the added pressure ... etc., etc. etc. ) the less attractive it seemed. I have a great job now that is a little less prestigeous, but that gives me a high quality life. Even though I am paid less, I can afford a great house only 5 minutes from work. I have time to enjoy my family, friends, hobbies, etc. I decided NOT to pursue the dream job. At this point in my life, the quality of my daily life is more important to me than the prestige of the "dream job."

I don't know what the right decision is for you, but I recommend that you not forget the quality of life issues as you make your decision. What is most important to you in life? Are there certain things you need to be happy? Are there certain things that would make you miserable? How happy will you be with that long commute and the stress it will cause for you and your family? If you don't take that job farther away, will you make yourself miserable always wondering "What if?" etc. etc. etc.

As you probably know, the answer to questions like this lies in knowing yourself.

Good luck with whatever you decide,

llg