Personal Statement Advice

[Natasha A., CNA, LVN]

Hello stellar nurses. I am seeking feedback on my personal statement. The essay needs to cover the main points of "Why I want to be a Nurse" and also talk about my "Hobbies/Interest." The essay also needs to have a logical flow, correct grammar, and a correct format(intro,body,conclusion). Your feedback will be gratefully appreciated. Thank you in advance. :) :)

My enthusiasm for nursing and research first took root and flourished from a visit to Jamaica. In 2007, after being separated from my father in Jamaica for most of my life, I had the privilege and honor of meeting my grandmother who by this time was up in years. My grandmother was living in an impoverished rural area that had no roads or no source of medical care. When I saw my grandmother's weak, frail body, I thought to myself "What access would my grandmother have to good quality health care?" I asked grandma "Where is the nearest hospital?" and grandma replied, "It's about forty miles away child." It was that moment on I began to realize a desire to engage in a profession that focused on the area of helping sick people in poverty areas. Upon my return to the United States, I made the initiative to start a new direction in my life to pursue a career in healthcare.

In 2008, I decided to become a Certified Nurse Assistant to test my interest. After completing my certification in nurse assistant, I was able to do a lot of hands-on work with sick patients and analyze what the Registered Nurses do in the hospital setting. For instance, a typical day in my job consists of interacting with patients from taking their vital signs to just being a listening ear for comfort. One of the most notable things that taught me patience while working at the hospital was a time I helped a patient get dressed. I had to learn to be present and stop fretting about how long it was taking. She could sense when I was watching the clock and getting antsy. For her, being able to button her shirt was vital to her sense of wellbeing and empowerment in the aging process. It was a small thing, but it meant a lot to her. Looking back on my five years commitment working as a Certified Nurse Assistant, I still have more to contribute and offer to fulfill my intellectual curiosity in the profession. I feel like I've learned the ingredients of what it takes to be a good nurse such as having a good sense of humor, patience, and working under stress, but above all having a loving spirit.

One of my interests of hobbies where I found common values of a nurse is my fascination for songwriting. I have been writing pop alternative music for five years and became engaged writing my feelings when I experienced my first breakup. I went from dabbling in music to loving the craft. I bought my first songwriting book, Taylor Swift: Secrets of a Songwriter and devoted a considerable amount of time learning the pros and cons of how one of my favorite songwriters wrote her music. The book was armed with songwriting tips and creative ways to learn how to write pop songs. I was amazed at how words can change a person's mood and thought to myself "I can be just as good as Taylor Swift." Taylor Swift always knew how to touch people hearts with simple metaphors and vivid words. Furthermore, I enrolled in taking songwriting lessons and came to an understanding of how music can also be the best medicine.

I chose to pursue a career in nursing after following a circuitous path. Within the last five years, I spent preparing myself working closely in the hospital and having the joy of writing music. This has shown me the importance of dedication and acceptance. I have been able to experience uncertainties, challenges, and plain old hard work similar to that faced by nurses. But like the nurses in the hospitals, I can find happiness and satisfaction in helping people through medicine. Despite all the hardship nurses face, I want to help people every day, especially in poverty areas. Practicing medicine is something worth stress and long hours. Furthermore, what I have learned is to always remember to see any situation as if the roles were reversed. Sad to say, my grandmother has since passed away. I know she will be proud of the path I have chosen to help others and she will always be in my thoughts as I follow my goal of becoming a nurse.