Ive been practicing as a CNA for about a month While taking courses for my R.N. And last night I recieved a 33 yr old male HIV patient from the local hospital. He was in the final stages, acute respitorary distress I was stunned by his age so young but he looked so old. I was standing there doing vitals on him he was breathing very raspy and intermittent as i finished i looked into his eyes He rasied his hand as I was taking my gloves off. He just wanted me to hold his hand. I did I talked only slightly reassuring him it would be alright. He just happy to not be alone. Within 5 min his breathing stopped. No Pulse, nothing. I covered his hand up and called for the R.N. She went to inform the doctor and make all the notifications I stayed and cleaned him up. As I looked on his face there was no sign of the pain that had been there before.
It was then the weirdest thought came to me. He didnt care that I am a Transexual Nurse. He just wanted to be held one more time.
I became happy And it over came the sadness of his death. I hope soon more people have the same attitude but not waiting till the end to see me as a competent, compasionate nurse. Not a freak in a sideshow.
Thanks for listening to my rantings
Apr 29, '04
Sound like you really made a difference to him; he was lucky you could be there for him.