Penile Implant emergency

Nurses Humor


Years ago when penile implant surgery was fairly new I had a patient that I got the FIRST DAY I was floated to the outpatient clinic. ( don't ask me why the dr sent patient here instead of ER, I was just the nurse) This patient had been discharged recently and was recooperating nicely but he was in a tad of a hurry to try it when his wife went to Safeway to shop, he pumped up his penile implant. However it started to hurt, and he panics and forgets how to depress the implant so he calls SAFEWAY and has his wife paged overhead. (Would have loved to heard that conversation!) It is after office hours OF COURSE, but the Dr. had them meet him in the outpatient clinic where we was finishing up our usual post-ops and transfusions. It was rather hard to keep a straight face when getting the history of the problem and he said " I just wanted to see if it worked".


********Current motto: It's even worse than it appears.

I will always remember one of my penile implant patients from a few years back. The only thing remarkable about it was his name: Mr. Little. I guess it just goes to prove how juvenile we nurses could be since we laughed over it for days.

Incidentally, Mr. Little wasn't little so I guess that can explain why Mrs. Little was more than a little happy with the results!

Specializes in Emergency Room.

Several years ago I was getting report with some coworkers (we have taped report). The offgoing nurse was telling us about a patient who had a penile implant. She said, "Mr X has a penile implant, but you don't have to do anything with it, he takes care of it himself". We immediately shut off the tape and laughed for at least 10 minutes. We certainly hoped he would! We could barely get through report. We still chuckle about this from time to time!

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