Patient death

[Magnoliaflowers]

A few days ago we had a male patient age 60 with s/p ileostomy revision. His blood pressure had been stable but the tech had issues getting it that morning. He got routine lasix 40 mg. Scheduled breathing txs. And had norco 7.5/325 q4 prn. He complained of pain at his jp drain site routinely. I got 90/60 b/p. He had vomited that morning. I'm thinking b/p probably due to vomiting. To shorten the story, the RN assumed most of his care changing his bag and providing stoma care. At 3 pm she pushed iv zofran. I'm assuming she called and got an order. She did not. At 4 pm his pressure was 88/38 and 90/40. I notified my DON who promptly slammed me for giving the lasix and pain med. she had me call the NP and ask for an order for a bolus. We started the bolus and he appeared to perk up some. Did not fight the mama on breathing txs. I asked the DON if we needed to send him out. She kept slamming me about the lasix. We left at 7 pm with fluids still infusing. At 9 pm I called to check on him. The EMTs were coding him in the parking lot. The next day we're told we are getting written up. " you let that man lay there and did nothing for him. And this morning a wife is now a widow". I don't know what to do. I feel like it's on her bc I reported it to her. She was in the building at 9 when he coded. The night RN asked her to take his b/p and she asked " why can't you do it?" I'd appreciate any points of view or advice. I haven't slept since she told us those words.