Patient almost made me cry :(

[silverorlead86]

I work as a nurse on an intermediate care unit, and I am in my 9th month of nursing. So far it has been great. A little on the stressfull side, but I love all of the things I am learning. Anyway, my grandpa passed away last June. We were really close, and he was like a father to me. I took care him for his last six months, and had to watch him suffer and slowly lose himself. He was once a proud and distinguished doctor, but as he got sicker, he was in constant pain due to his cancer, and he became incontinent. It was a really hard time for both of us.

So far, no one has really reminded me of him. Until last week. I am so glad that I didn't have this poor man as my patient, but I went into his room briefly to help one of my co-workers change his diaper. He had bruises all over his face and body. He was struggling for air and in constant pain (just like my grandfather before he passed). Even the sight of him was sad. Well, then he grabbed my hand. He grabbed it very tightly, and looked at my eyes, and then said. "help me". It wasn't just what he said, but the way he said it. It was a mixture of agony and gasping for air. It was so upsetting I almost broke down and cried right there. He was dying, too. He was suffering and there was nothing I could do. His nurse said he was getting 50mcg of fentanyl every hour. He was going to hospice care the next day. It just broke my heart.

I don't know what I am going to do if this happens again. It would be so unprofessional to just cry right there.

Well just felt like sharing.

[JDougRN, BSN, RN]

WHY is having human feelings of compassion unprofessional again? I've been a nurse for 20 years. The day something like that doesn't make you tear up, is when it's time to quit. I'm not talking about being a sobbing mess every day during your shift. Yes, there is a problem with that. But feeling compassion and sympathy for your patients is a good thing, and never let anyone else tell you differently. You can take care of my family any day, with the attitued you have. I'm sorry about your Grandfather.

[dolgre]

I think you had the blessing of a genuine reaction to this man, a reflection of your ability to empathize and have compassion for the suffering of another human being. It is what drew you to nursing in the first place, and will always be a part of why you will be a great nurse. Allowing yourself to feel, process, and then grow from these types of experiences is as much a part of your development as a nurse as learning how to manage your time or to operate new machines.

You were given a gift from the universe, allow it to shape you. :)

[Sweetadelyne]

I am a student nurse and our first semester was working in a nursing home. I was sad, always crying with no emotional control almost the entire time. My sister died when she was 32 with ALOT of problems and spent her last few years in a nursing home. Every patient I dealt with reminded me of her and the situation. She passed away about three years ago. I hated my entire semester and toward the end I ended up tearing a tendon in my foot so I have had to sit out two semesters. Well, I just had surgery to repair the tendon and am wondering if I should return to school in the fall. I know your feelings...People say time helps but honestly when you are in similar situations which remind you of the pain your loved ones endured, it is like you are reliving it over and over again.