Parents in the military

midinphx, BSN · Jun 27, 2012

It's hard. Whether you are a single parent or married.

You must have a childcare plan in place at all times. You'll be required to turn it in with your paperwork. That's the easy part.

My kids are older, my youngest is 16. I never made it to any of his school events last year. I was deployed for 7 months and with other training I was gone a lot. You really have to prepare them for your absences. And prepare yourself for the things you will miss. Any working parent misses a lot of their kids' things so it's not always a huge change.

With Skype and FaceTime, I feel more connected. Schools keep his grades online where I can keep up with what is going on in his world. My 23year old just had a baby. I planned leave to be around for it, but of course she was late and I barely had any time with her after the baby was born. I really miss not being there. Parents with young children must have even a harder time with deployments - I can't imagine leaving a young baby home while you leave.

Everyday life isn't all that different from being civilian nurse for me. I am apt to work more hours than I did as a civilian. I have other training that I get to do that balances out the doldrums of everyday life. I like it. And I am here for the long haul. There are lots of things I gave up coming in..... but I think the opportunities that I've had far outweigh the losses. I'm getting set for my next deployment and I'm excited about going despite missing my family.

Trauma Columnist · Jun 27, 2012

Agree it is hard. Many sacrifices - be prepared. Make sure you have good, solid daycare 24/7. Hopefully your spouse isn't active duty.

babe48076 · Jun 27, 2012

@midinphx I truly appreciate your response. My oldest child will be 12 this year and my youngest is two. I am a mother of four and my husband is military also. I feel that all of the benefits will outweigh everything, but just concerned about the kids. I have always wanted to be a nurse in the military and have been pursuing this dream for approx three years. Now that it is getting close I just want to make sure I am doing the right thing, but it seems like I won't know until I do it. Did you join with kids?

babe48076 · Jun 27, 2012

@traumaRUs My husband is active duty. My mom has agreed to go wherever I am stationed and she is truly a huge help. Do you regret joining and how many children do you have?

midinphx, BSN · Jun 27, 2012

I am glad I joined. I have 2 kids, youngest is 16 now and chooses to stay in Phoenix, while I'm in San Antonio. That part is hard. I get criticized by some people for "abandoning" my kids. But stay-at-home mom's sometimes bash working mom's too and I've always been a working mom. Technology today makes keeping in touch easier, and with a 16yr boy, texting can be the best way to communicate even if we are in the same room. :)

My kids are amazingly proud of having their mom serve. They have never resented my being gone. They had a voice and veto power over my decision to serve. I have their support. I know this is the right path for me. Nothing worth doing and having is ever easy.