overheard at the bedside

White mid-40's male pt: "that doctor who was just in here, is he a jew?"

Me: "yeah, he's one of us."

Pt: silence

And then, because i simply couldn't resist, i asked "sprechen sie deutsch?"

Pt: "huh?"

Me: "never mind.

Hard of hearing LOL asked for help with her sleeve and was asked to "raise your hand" somehow she thought it was said to "raise your shirt" and did so...no bra on. Another LOL was nearby and burst out laughing and said "wow, that was weird"

All staff nearby about fell out of their chairs:wideyed:

"you have a sweet ass, my dear." As a patient is fondling himself beneath the covers in front of an entire room of physicians, SW, CM, and ancillary staff. Oy.

When I was working at a social day program at a nursing home around age 20... 80 something year old man slowly makes his way over to the chair next to me. Little by little he nudges closer to me then whispers "Looking good. You have nice teeth". A few minutes later "You have nice teeth. Where did you get your dentures?"

Same 80 something year old man. Takes my hand to hold it and I think awwww how cute:) Then he whispers in my ear "Do you want to feel the fire?" as he motions to his man parts.

I was working PRN at a LTC facility and while making rounds with a salty seasoned veteran nurse we were discussing a complicated patient and had the curtain pulled. We hear his roommate say, (in his ladies man voice), "Who is the new nurse. She's a cute one... I'm gonna' marry her." Salty seasoned nurse doesn't miss a beat replies, "Insert ladies man name here, well she has six kids and has been looking for a sugar daddy."

We hear a pouty little,"Nevermind." from behind the curtain. I loved that nurse.

Oh my, lol!!

Oops, put my response with the wrong post!

I was working post partum and helping a new mom with breast feeding. She said "I want to make sure the baby gets as much Clostridium as possible, since it's so good for him."

Um, I think you meant Colostrum.

She was a nurse.

That is a GREAT one for the "Say it Correctly" thread, that's somewhere on this site. Maybe the nurse was thinking about C-Diff! LOL

​I hope she just misspoke. I've had words come out the wrong way.

Very typical of pregnant and post-partum moms. I think the baby sucks your brains out when it's growing and leaves you with very little.

This happened in a bus. My friend was singing in his mind as we sit near the door of the bus. I was looking at the road patiently. When we hit a bump, my friend farted. It was his intention to fart as we hit the bump so that no one would notice. However, he failed. Everyone stared at him including me. Only then, he realized he has wearing a headset.

At the bedside of a patient declared brain dead. The family was rather "simple" and didn't really seem to be grasping the situation.

"I don't understand why they don't just do one of those brain transplants."

The rest of the night we were daring each other to call the neurosurgeon with that request. And then wondering which one of the family members was going to donate.