Orientation Woes

[newnurse1456]

Alright, so I just had to vent and get advice on how to cope with things! I started at my job 8 weeks ago, first two weeks were training for computers and hospital policies. I've been on the floor for 6 weeks now.

Originally we were told orientation would be 12 weeks, and we'd rotate through three areas to find what was the best fit for us. That was changed, we got put on one floor right away, and our orientation time was cut in half basically. Told us all about 3 days before we started, but not directly. We didn't get a clear answer until halfway through our first week.

Basically I did 3 weeks of training on days, which was great! I felt like the floor was a great fit for me. I always wanted to be in a floor with an oncology focus (pediatric oncology is the ultimate goal however), and the staff was super supportive of me. My preceptors was also great! But the end of those 3 weeks I had 5 patients, and I had the phone and was talking to the docs and taking orders. I was doing fairly well on my own, only needing my preceptor for small questions that came up.

Then they switched me to nights, to "become a well rounded nurse". I've had two preceptors on nights, one was 5 of the days and the other 4 of the days. The one I was with the majority of the time totally shook my confidence. She made me feel totally incompetent from night number one without really giving me a chance I feel.

I know I'm not as at the top of my game at night because my brain is groggy. But this preceptor was nit picking at things like the small talk I was making with my patients (whenever I go in to give them a pill, find something to talk about!), to how I stood with my computer doing admissions (I always faced the patient, but just not the way she wanted?). I know those things are important. But she brought them up all the time!

Next week I'm back to days. I have one day scheduled with a preceptor, then I'm on my own. I was so excited to go back to days, but after nights I just am questioning if it's what I want to do even. If this is the floor for me or not.

So how would you suggest coping? I tried to just ignore everything in my mind, because my efforts to implement what she was telling me was met with more critiques "that was better, BUT...". I feel like once I am away from that preceptor I'll feel happier again, not so personally attacked, but I'm not sure. I'm just unhappy with the orientation process now. I feel like the 3 weeks of nights just threw everything off and now I'm expected to go back to days and function like I was before.

Anyways, rant over. I didn't much want to talk to my family about the difficulties I've been having, so I decided to come to the internet. Thank you all!