Old nurses never die

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Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

a colleague of mine send this to me via e-mail, thought i would share...

old nurses never die, they just lose their patients

by: karyn buxman

there we were in montana, in the middle of a blizzard, the likes of which you've never seen. gale force winds were blowing. drifting snow piled high on both sides of the road. the power was flickering on and off, which was making life at the ltc facility a little more exciting than we liked it to be. but as midwinter, midwestern night shifts go, things were pretty good. my fellow nurses and i were holding down the fort. to our astonishment, we heard the alarm that signaled someone was coming into the building.

who were our visitors? mr. and mrs. g, a local couple who were collectively approximately 215 years old. when we asked them what had brought them out in such terrible weather, mrs. g beamed and said, "we thought it might be a nice idea to visit some of the elderly!"

the nice thing about growing older is how it happens to everyone else, but never to us! too bad the same thing can't be said about the people who work with us. luckily, old nurses never die. they just lose their patients.

and speaking of patients, you'll be thrilled to know that old hypochondriacs never die either. they just lose their grippe!

it does seem that practicing medicine does confer a special sort of immortality. who knew that working in healthcare could make you live forever?

after all, old allergists never die, and that's nothing to sneeze at!

anesthesiologists never die, they just pass their final gas. not necessarily something you want to be around for, and eye doctors are worse! ophthalmologists never die, they just make spectacles of themselves.

baby, we're just getting started. obstetricians never die, they just can't deliver anymore. and old surgeons never die, they just can't cut it!

if you tell a dermatologist that they'll never die, they'll tell you it's no skin off their nose. orthopedic surgeons don't die, they just get cast aside. and cardiologists? a cardiologist won't die, but they definitely lose heart after a while.

if you're building your human collection, you may want to consider collecting certain types of jokes. one type (the type that i've cunningly used as an example here!) is the "old x never dies" jokes. there are plenty of health care examples - old endocrinologists never die, but they make one last gland stand! but don't feel you have to limit yourself.

old teachers never die, for example. they just lose their class.

and old nursing students never die, they just get degraded.

but of course, for us, medical humor examples are best. there are so many types of professionals working with us, each and every day. can you construct an "old x never dies" for all of your colleagues? it can be a really fun challenge - or a team building exercise! here's one to get you started:

oncologists never die; they just lose their sense of tumor.

yours in laughter,

karyn buxman