Off Orientation Soon, Stressed Out

[RNkarlaaaa]

Hello everyone!

This topic is nothing new and I've gone through the forum reading similar threads to comfort myself. Now that I'm on the exact same boat, I need to get this off my chest.

I work the night shift at a busy telemetry floor. I have 2 weeks left of orientation before I'm on my own. And just the thought of it makes my stomach turn. No more preceptor to validate my actions and to turn to when I have questions. I feel like I'm putting out fires instead of being in control. If you stop me in the middle of my running around and ask me about my patient, I feel like I can barely tell you anything. Most of the time I'm faking it- I put on this happy face of someone who knows what they're doing- and I have this nagging voice in my head telling me that it's only a matter of time before I'm found out. It only takes one concerned family member or observant patient to expose me for the fraud that I am. There are many things I still don't know. One of my worst fears is to get fired by my patient for being an incompetent nurse.

I like what I do, but I am always filled with anxiety the day before my shift. I really, really want to be an excellent nurse. I know it takes time and experience, but I am longing for that day when I am more confident in what I'm doing and that I am actually looking forward to come to work. I'm determined to get though this, grow, and gain more experience. I just wish I didn't have all these negative thoughts and inhibitions