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Off to a Bad Start

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 I started a new PT job in juvenile corrections.  I had to call out the 2nd day d/t a horrific migraine causing me to vomit.  I asked supv if I could make up the day the next day, she said OK.  Two weeks later I come down with a very severe cold.  I'm in work and I ask supv if I could  come in on thurs instead of wed to give me a chance to recover.  She was hesitant but agreed that would be OK.  Two weeks later I get the slammed with the FLU!! I sent an email explaining this and asking once again if I could rearrange days.  The reply was "unacceptable....we've done this multiple times.  Let me know if this job isn't going to work for you."  I replied that I understood and that I wanted to make it work and I would do my best to be there.  With a stroke of luck I improved the next day and showed up for my scheduled two days.  When I saw the supv I explained that this was not typical of me and that it's been an unfortunate few weeks.  That night I get a text from supv saying they had a call out and could I come in the next day.  I replied "I really would love to but I'm still not 100%.  Can you see if anyone else is available, if not, I will do it."  30 minutes later, she says no one else can do.  My heart sank because the reality is that I was still really not well.  I ended up calling her and saying, I really need time to recover, but how stupid did I look by saying I would do it and then saying no?  Truth is, she hadn't really contacted everyone else and so I feel like she was testing me.  Of course I'm feeling awful about how things have started off at this job.  I guess this was more of a rant and the only thing I can do is try to prove myself going forward but it's created extra anxiety as I feel like everything I do will be scrutinized.  Help!

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