humorous stories - page 2

One of the nurses at work was sharing an experience yesterday that was quite funny. She said that many years ago she was in a room with a labor patient, last check 5 cm, and the pt said "oops!"... Read More

  1. by   mother/babyRN
    Well, there are so many stories....But, one that comes to mind was a patient that had the old "gossamer cervix"- the kind that is thin thin thin at 2 cms...Although she was a primip, I just felt she had a look and a "feel" that she was going to go quickly. She was the stoic type ( I would sometimes rather have them screaming and writhing in pain so I at LEAST know where they stand)...My co worker friend said I was too spooked and the patient then asked to get up to the bathroom so the two of us decided to make her bed....While she was in the bathroom I told my friend I didn't think it was a good idea to let her get out of bed when the baby was so low...She laughed and teased "What do you think is going to happen?" "The baby is going to fall out?" At that very moment we both heard a grunt ( THE grunt) from the bathroom...She had the baby in the toilet.....I thought I was going to have a heart attack...NEVER trust those gossamer cervixes......OR second guess yourself....

    Then there was the patient known for precip deliveries, mostly, I am certain, due to her propensity for cocaine....After about 4 of these deliveries when she just barely arrived in the parking lot or delivery and the pace was hectic, I had developed a rapport with the patient, and actually hoped beyond belief that she would be successful in her latest attempt to clean herself up...We lost track of her for a couple of years and I just figured she was done having babies. Not so....In the middle of one quiet night I get the call that an ambulance is on their way with a pushing woman and they are going to bypass the ER because, why bother...So, I have everything ready to go and here they come with my screaming cocaine person! As soon as she saw me she said, "I TRIED to clean up but I did some coke and the ever so infamous, "I HAVE TO F###### PUSH!!!! So, I delivered her little girl and she remains to this day the ONLY baby ever named after me.....Sigh...
  2. by   mother/babyRN
    Not too long ago on a horrendous night I was alone with a pushing patient while everyone else was tied up with a csection when something emerged from her rectum that was like nothing I had ever seen before or since.....Packets of something....Turned out to be cocaine......I had no idea, but DID have the foresight to clean the area bigtime and drape it so the baby (hopefully) would have no contact with the residue, if any......That, and some of the most unlikely piercings, have piqued my attention during the delivery process...And not once, but twice, have I had groin boils burst when the patient was bearing down...Any stuff like that every happen to YOU????
  3. by   NICU_Nurse
    Groin boils? I...ew.