humorous stories

rn500 · Jul 15, 2003

Two stories come to mind...

I think it was my first year in L&D - still learning the tricks (and still learning some now) - I had been pushing with a pt for a while and we couldn't get rid of that darn anterior lip. It dawned on me that she hadn't voided in several hours, so I straight cathed her for about 700 cc's. As I was pulling out the catheter the baby slid out onto the bed...

One time a pt came flying into our unit leaning back in a wheelchair with "that look" on her face (frantic husband pushing the chair) - she had on stretch pants that had a suspicious looking bulge in the crotch. I reached my hands into her pants just in time to deliver the baby (okay, really I just caught it!). That was the only time I've delivered a baby with the mom's pants still on!

mother/babyRN, RN · Jul 22, 2003

Well, there are so many stories....But, one that comes to mind was a patient that had the old "gossamer cervix"- the kind that is thin thin thin at 2 cms...Although she was a primip, I just felt she had a look and a "feel" that she was going to go quickly. She was the stoic type ( I would sometimes rather have them screaming and writhing in pain so I at LEAST know where they stand)...My co worker friend said I was too spooked and the patient then asked to get up to the bathroom so the two of us decided to make her bed....While she was in the bathroom I told my friend I didn't think it was a good idea to let her get out of bed when the baby was so low...She laughed and teased "What do you think is going to happen?" "The baby is going to fall out?" At that very moment we both heard a grunt ( THE grunt) from the bathroom...She had the baby in the toilet.....I thought I was going to have a heart attack...NEVER trust those gossamer cervixes......OR second guess yourself....

Then there was the patient known for precip deliveries, mostly, I am certain, due to her propensity for cocaine....After about 4 of these deliveries when she just barely arrived in the parking lot or delivery and the pace was hectic, I had developed a rapport with the patient, and actually hoped beyond belief that she would be successful in her latest attempt to clean herself up...We lost track of her for a couple of years and I just figured she was done having babies. Not so....In the middle of one quiet night I get the call that an ambulance is on their way with a pushing woman and they are going to bypass the ER because, why bother...So, I have everything ready to go and here they come with my screaming cocaine person! As soon as she saw me she said, "I TRIED to clean up but I did some coke and the ever so infamous, "I HAVE TO F###### PUSH!!!! So, I delivered her little girl and she remains to this day the ONLY baby ever named after me.....Sigh...

mother/babyRN, RN · Sep 25, 2003

Not too long ago on a horrendous night I was alone with a pushing patient while everyone else was tied up with a csection when something emerged from her rectum that was like nothing I had ever seen before or since.....Packets of something....Turned out to be cocaine......I had no idea, but DID have the foresight to clean the area bigtime and drape it so the baby (hopefully) would have no contact with the residue, if any......That, and some of the most unlikely piercings, have piqued my attention during the delivery process...And not once, but twice, have I had groin boils burst when the patient was bearing down...Any stuff like that every happen to YOU????

NICU_Nurse, BSN, RN · Sep 25, 2003

Groin boils? I...ew.