Now it does seem, *just based on what you say*, not attentive enough. But why????? There may be lots of reasons.
It's hard to say what all happened, as I was not there, but to have to ring THREE (3?!) times for the nurse to tell her the baby was coming is not, in my book, truly what I would call attentive care. Again why? WAS the baby really coming imminently----? Usually for primips, it can take HOURS from 8cm to delivery, really. Like Jen before me said, these babies don't just fall out, usually!
I will try and speculate a bit, but remember, I was not there.
I do know, when our moms have epidurals, I don't pop in all the time, especially if they are comfortable and resting. Some get irritated by constant presence. But I DO watch on the central monitor to see how the baby is doing and for subtle changes in heart rate that tell me the baby may be coming. I usually let them "labor down" so pushing is short and sweet as possible. If I am not there, does *not* mean I am not watching and monitoring the mom and baby. I am.
Many things I do not know in your case--------
I don't know if your daughter in law had anesthesia/epidural....I don't know the condition of her labor and how the baby was doing while she was laboring......I don't know how busy they were on the unit (just cause it '"seems quiet" does not mean it is, gone are the days of screaming heard up and down the halls of patients in labor, thanks to epidurals).......and I don't know how many labor patients your nurse may have been assigned that particular evening. Often, nightshift is "downsized" and therefore, not as well staffed as day shift in many units. This is very common. And they think patients sleep at night.....well that is another thread.
One thing I do know: in some very busy units, nurses are monitoring a minimum of 2 and even THREE at a time (which is very wrong). The AWHONN standard for low risk labor patients prior to pushing stage is a ratio of 2:1, so at times, even that can get busy. When one of my patients has to push, I have to get another RN to cover the other. This can get tough as they also have a load to carry. But we do manage as best we can. Fortunately, most of the time, we only have one labor patient per RN and if that patient needs me there, I am THERE by her side, to support her. It's rare anymore, since so many elect to have epidural anesthesia, to need me or even want me around them. But if they do, I am happy to be there. I love a good natural labor experience and all the intensity that surrounds it! It gets my juices flowing; I miss that daily experience, it's all-too-rare now for me.
Truly, I have no way of knowing what kept your nurse from being there when you needed her. I am just sorry this happened. I am very glad it all turned out alright. I can certainly understand your concerns!
I know I did not probably answer your questions well, but, I just was not there to know the ins and outs of your daughter in law's labor experience. Yes, on the surface, it seems at least from what you tell me, it was not the most attentive nursing care there.
Maybe next time, if you daughter in law is low-risk, she could seek out a midwife-run birthing center or even deliver at home under the care of a good midwife. It would be a lovely experience for her and the entire family. I wish you all well, and again, congratulations.