Nursing School Personal Statement Help

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Hello,

I am applying to nursing school this year. I would greatly appreciate it if I could get some feedback on my essay/personal statement. Below is a draft of my essay. Please tell me what I can add or take out to make it better. I want to make sure that my essay is going in the right direction. Thank you.

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Essay prompt: In the space below (or a separate paper) write an account of (1) your experience and activities since you last attended school if more than six months have elapsed; (2) all the things you have accomplished that have given you the greatest satisfaction; (3) what you most enjoy dong in your leisure time; (4) your reasons for selecting nursing as a career; (5) any special reasons for desiring to enter this school; and (6) your plans and aspirations for the future.

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What I have so far:

The words "miracle worker" and "nurse" should be interchangeable. Nurses make miracles happen everyday, by being able to make patients smile through their pain and help them get through what may be one of the worst times in their lives. I have chosen to go into the field of nursing because I love helping people and I get satisfaction from knowing that I am able to help somebody even if it is in a minor way.

Nurses have made a huge impact on my life. I grew up surrounded by nurses; my mother is a nurse, and a handful of my aunts and uncles are nurses as well. Besides growing up in a family of nurses, I have been impacted by nurses in other ways. One major event that contributed to how nurses have impacted my life was when my uncle Steven was terminally ill with cancer, during this time I saw firsthand how nurses use their passion, kindness, and empathy to make a patients last days as painless as possible.

My uncle Steven always used to say "your goals are not accomplished by strength, but by determination." I am determined to become a nurse, therefore I will become a nurse. After successfully completing this program, I plan to further my education and I will do so by first obtaining my Bachelor's of Science in Nursing Degree. I will not stop there, I will continue my education and advance at every possible opportunity.

Since graduating high school in 2007, I have matured and learned how much it means to have a goal, passion, & most of all an education. Education is the key to success and the education that I will receive at the School of Nursing at ** ** ** ** will provide me with the tools that I need to succeed as a nurse.

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I'm on the same boat as you. I am thinking about transferring to a different school to get my BSN, and I have to write a personal statement as well. Having English as my second language, I am not that confident in writing essays, therefore I am FRIGHTEN!

Wish you luck :)

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Do not worry. You should be just fine. I could not even tell that English is your second language. Good luck to you!!!

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