Nursing School Essay

[ggabri07, BSN, RN]

Hello everyone. I am in the early stages of writing my admissions essay and need some help. I am not really a good writer so any and all feedback is welcomed. Here goes my intro:

It all started out when my mother was diagnosed with Deep Vein Thrombosis. This condition can be very fatal if the correct treatment plan is not put in place. She was given Coumodin to thin her blood and get her INR numbers low on her blood tests. This type of medication does not react well with green vegetables so it is advised that you stay from them. When she began to experience weakness she asked to be given a vitamin to give her some strength. As she began to regain her strength her blood test results were getting worse. She immediately asked me to look up the effects of her vitamins on INR levels. After my research I immediately ordered her to discontinue taking Glutofac. Although it was giving her strength it was not helping her INR levels get higher because it contained Vitamin K which is contraindicated with Coumodin. It all made sense to her and from that day on she made me her private researcher and even allowed me to talk with her doctors regarding their treatment plans. Educating her about her condition and speaking with her doctors helped spark my interested in the nursing field. I found myself putting a great deal of effort into trying to diagnose my family and friends when they complied of various symptoms.