Nursing School Admit Essay

[summerzippsalong]

Hello All!! Was wondering if I could please get some feedback and suggestions on my entry essay. I was asked to write a one page narrative to say why I am interested in the Nursing field and why I would be a good candidate. My advisor also told me to put what my GPA is and what classes I am planning on taking this spring and summer. I didn't really like putting that in there but they said to do it.

Thanks for your time!!!!:)

The Registered Nursing field has been a part of my life since before I was even born. My Grandmother and my Mother were both Registered Nurses. As a child I spent many hours at the kitchen table listening to stories that my Grandmother told me about her experiences early in her nursing career. I was fascinated and always asked question after question. I remember looking at their professional magazines and reading about different diseases and conditions. I would think to myself that someday I would be a nurse just like my Mother and Grandmother. I spent many hours visiting my Grandmother at her job as a Nursing Supervisor at a long term care facility, and my mother who was a Charge Nurse at the local hospital. The medical professionals that I was exposed to during my youth gave me the foundation of professionalism and caring that is needed to be successful in the healthcare industry. The interactions between nurses, patients and their families was an amazing and sometimes touching experience for a young adult such as myself to witness. Because not all situations were pleasant, I was also shown the reality of the nursing field. These experiences helped to solidify the fact that someday I would be a part of the medical community.

During high school, an opportunity was given to me to work at the local veterinary hospital. I worked there during the summer and on weekends. I was enamored by the daily workings of the hospital. I felt like I was as sponge and absorbed as much as possible. The medical training that I received during my time working in the veterinary field will be invaluable in my pursuit of a nursing degree. Over the years, I have had the pleasure of working with wonderful veterinarians and staff who have taught me many of the things that I hope to incorporate into my future nursing career. The daily interactions with the patients’ owners have given me knowledge and empathy in various situations. Nursing like veterinary medicine is based on the simple concept of truly caring, being passionate, and skilled in the profession. It sometimes seems as though it is a balancing act between having the technical skills to perform at the top levels and having the compassion to understand the patients and their family’s needs. Although it may sometimes be a struggle to keep this balance, the rewards of knowing that you made a difference in someone’s life is worth it all in the end.

While researching WVNCC’s nursing program, I was informed that the passing rate for the NCLEX exam is 100%. This is a reflection of the teaching staff and also the caliber of students that are accepted into the program. I would be an asset to the nursing program at WVNCC because of the experiences that I have had in my life. I am a lifelong learner and enjoy the challenges of learning new material. My strong work ethic and academic success are reflective of my commitment to my education and the career that I have chosen to pursue. As my transcripts show, I currently am maintaining a 4.0 in my prerequisites and have registered for the CNA course, Microbiology, Sociology, and Technical Writing for the spring semester at WVNCC. I plan to enroll in Anatomy and Physiology II and Pharmacology in the summer with the approval and guidance of my Nursing advisor. It is my intent to enter the Registered Nursing program at WVNCC in the fall of 2012. This is an extremely important part of my life and it is with the utmost regards that I ask the granting committee to accept my application to this program.

[leenak]

A few minor grammar issues:

You shouldn't capitalize mother and grandmother unless you are substituting their name but by putting my in front of it, you don't need to captalize it.

Don't start sentences with Because.

Other items:

I can nitpick but you talk about your grandmother and mother but don't really relate to how your experiences through them led to you wanting to become a nurse. Do you have any particular event ? A particular story your grandmother or mother told you?

And in terms of your veterinary work, how long exactly was it? It seems like a short time based on your essay but then you say 'over the years'. Did you take any training classes to work at the vet? Anything informal if not formal? I understand that you want to relate your experience as your first exposure into any kind of medical care but I think you fall short a little.

I guess overall in your reasoning to become a nurse, I think you should talk about some possible specific experience rather than being overly general.

I think you may have a good overall structure, you just need to clean up some of the details.

[summerzippsalong]

thank you for your quick response!!! :)