I recently interviewed for a position and was asked by the recruiter to provide references prior to getting offered the job. The recruiter sent me a link where I would be able to list my 5 references, and my references would be receiving a link to fill out a survey online.
The references had to be listed ASAP according to the email (within 24 hours), and so I listed the best people I was able to think of and emailed each individual before I sent out the survey link (ideally I would have asked way before in person, but unfortunately that wasn't possible with the short notice). I assumed all of them would willingly fill out the reference survey, which 4 of them did, but there was one supervisor (charge nurse) I asked who took forever (almost a week), so when I saw her in person I asked her if she received my email. She said she did get my email, but wasn't sure about filling out a reference because of her position and concerned about whether there was a policy about providing references. So she decided to email the manager to ask her about it and where she should direct me to get a proper reference. Honestly I get what she means, but she's making such a big deal about this and I need my reference NOW. And it frustrates me that she emailed the manager when I haven't even placed a proper notice in yet since I haven't even gotten the offer. . .
I don't mind listing another reference, but the thing is I can't delete her name off the list without emailing the recruiter telling her of my situation and that I need to list a new reference in place.
How should I ask the recruiter if it's alright to change one of my listed references in a professional way so that it doesn't look bad? I'm afraid if I tell her one of my references didn't want to provide a reference, it would be a red flag and I will miss the potential job opportunity I could have gotten. . . Thanks in advance!