You may be working in a redneck hospital if...

Nurses Humor

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  1. There's an old ambulance out front up on concrete blocks next to the pink flamingos.
  2. The hospital makes its own alcohol from a still out back.
  3. The ambulances have gun racks, NASCAR bumper stickers, and beer can holders.
  4. You hear the intercom say "Paging Dr. Bubba to the OR", and 5 Drs. show up----and they're all related.
  5. Spit cups and coolers are considered standard bedside equipment.
  6. Pts. are given a choice of Coors or Budweiser with the grilled SPAM.
  7. There's a case of duct tape on the shelf next to the dressing supplies.
  8. More than 3 pts. say "I don't know how that fish lure/beer can got stuck there" on any given day in the ER.
  9. They use '67 Chevy hubcaps for bedpans.
  10. The defibrillator is a truck battery with jumper cables.
  11. There's a goat in the ER----and it's a frequent flyer.
  12. There's a license plate collection nailed to the walls of the Drs. lounge next to a movie poster of "Deliverance" and a shrine to Elvis.
  13. At least 1 med cart in the hallway is up on concrete blocks.
  14. There's at least 3 different brands of chewing tobacco in the Pyxis.
  15. There's paint by numbers pictures of Elvis in the waiting room, in every pt. room, and in the cafeteria.
  16. Any nurse has ever had to write an incident report for getting her hairdo caught in a ceiling fan.
  17. They've ever had to close down the hospital for a family reunion, because all the pts. and employees showed up.

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Specializes in LTAC, Homehealth, Hospice Case Manager.

18. All employees drive a huge mud covered 4 wheel drive pick up with dog cages permanently secured to the bed.

19. All employees wear TreeBark brand camo jackets & scrubs.

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20. Your OR cap has a John Deere patch sewn to the front.

21. There's a gun check right next to the information desk.

22. A patient has ever actually held on to a rifle long enough to have it pried from his cold dead hands, and his family considered this a point of great pride.

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Specializes in Med Surg/Tele/ER.

23. The doctor shows up wearing...Massey Fergusion cap & Red Wings covered w/cow poop!

24. Cough syrup order...Vicks Formula 44, pour half out, & refill w/whiskey. Take a big swig every 1-2 hours as needed for cough.

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25. The EMTs got written up for entering the ambulance in a tractor pulling contest.

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