Nurses Humor
Published Mar 27, 2002
betts
667 Posts
I'm hungry: I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy: I'm sleepy.
I'm tired: I'm tired.
Do you want to go to a movie?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
May I have this dance?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Nice dress!: Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage: I want to fondle you.
What's wrong?: 1What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? 2I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
I'm bored: Do you want to have sex?
I love you: Let's have sex now.
I love you, too: Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair: 1I liked it better before. 2$50 and it doesn't look that much different!
Let's talk: I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
Will you marry me?: I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together: I am gay.
havok
10 Posts
you forgot the classic...
anything you say dear: If I pretend like I'm listening will you stop talking?
Asklepios
94 Posts
That pretty much covers it!!!
Diary/Dairy, RN
1,785 Posts
LOL - Thanks for the posting!!!
nurse healer
7 Posts
ways to turn down unwanted men !!!! [color=maroon][color=maroon]
he: can i buy you a drink?
she: actually i'd rather have the money.
he : i'm a photographer. i've been looking for a face like yours.
she : i'm a plastic surgeon. i've been looking for a face like yours.
he : hi. didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
she : must've been once. i never make the same mistake twice.
he : how did you get to be so beautiful?
she : i must've been given your share.
he : will you go out with me this saturday?
she : sorry. i'm having a headache this weekend.
he : your face must turn a few heads.
she : and your face must turn a few stomachs.
he : go on ,don't be shy. ask me out.
she : okay, get out.
he : i think i could make you very happy.
she : why? are you leaving?
he : what would you say if i asked you to marry me?
she : nothing. i can't talk and laugh at the same time.
he : can i have your name?
she : why? don't you already have one?
he : shall we go see a movie?
she : i've already seen it.
he : where have you been all my life?
she : hiding from you.
he : haven't i seen you some place before?
she : yes. that's why i don't go there anymore.
he : is this seat empty?
she : yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
he : so, what do you do for a living?
she : i'm a female impersonator.
he : hey baby, what's your sign?
she : do not enter.
he : your body is like a temple.
she : sorry, there are no services today.
he: if i could see you naked, i'd die happy.
she : if i saw you naked, i'd probably die laughing.
NEsoon2beRN
32 Posts
ways to turn down unwanted men !!!! [color=maroon][color=maroon]he: can i buy you a drink? [color=maroon]she: actually i'd rather have the money. [color=maroon]he : i'm a photographer. i've been looking for a face like yours. [color=maroon]she : i'm a plastic surgeon. i've been looking for a face like yours. [color=maroon]he : hi. didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice? [color=maroon]she : must've been once. i never make the same mistake twice. [color=maroon]he : how did you get to be so beautiful? [color=maroon]she : i must've been given your share. [color=maroon]he : will you go out with me this saturday? [color=maroon]she : sorry. i'm having a headache this weekend. [color=maroon]he : your face must turn a few heads. [color=maroon]she : and your face must turn a few stomachs. [color=maroon]he : go on ,don't be shy. ask me out. [color=maroon]she : okay, get out. [color=maroon]he : i think i could make you very happy. [color=maroon]she : why? are you leaving? [color=maroon]he : what would you say if i asked you to marry me? [color=maroon]she : nothing. i can't talk and laugh at the same time. [color=maroon]he : can i have your name? [color=maroon]she : why? don't you already have one? [color=maroon]he : shall we go see a movie? [color=maroon]she : i've already seen it. [color=maroon]he : where have you been all my life? [color=maroon]she : hiding from you. [color=maroon]he : haven't i seen you some place before? [color=maroon]she : yes. that's why i don't go there anymore. [color=maroon]he : is this seat empty? [color=maroon]she : yes, and this one will be if you sit down. [color=maroon]he : so, what do you do for a living? [color=maroon]she : i'm a female impersonator. [color=maroon]he : hey baby, what's your sign? [color=maroon]she : do not enter. [color=maroon]he : your body is like a temple. [color=maroon]she : sorry, there are no services today. [color=maroon]he: if i could see you naked, i'd die happy. [color=maroon]she : if i saw you naked, i'd probably die laughing.
[color=maroon]he: can i buy you a drink?
[color=maroon]she: actually i'd rather have the money.
[color=maroon]he : i'm a photographer. i've been looking for a face like yours.
[color=maroon]she : i'm a plastic surgeon. i've been looking for a face like yours.
[color=maroon]he : hi. didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
[color=maroon]she : must've been once. i never make the same mistake twice.
[color=maroon]he : how did you get to be so beautiful?
[color=maroon]she : i must've been given your share.
[color=maroon]he : will you go out with me this saturday?
[color=maroon]she : sorry. i'm having a headache this weekend.
[color=maroon]he : your face must turn a few heads.
[color=maroon]she : and your face must turn a few stomachs.
[color=maroon]he : go on ,don't be shy. ask me out.
[color=maroon]she : okay, get out.
[color=maroon]he : i think i could make you very happy.
[color=maroon]she : why? are you leaving?
[color=maroon]he : what would you say if i asked you to marry me?
[color=maroon]she : nothing. i can't talk and laugh at the same time.
[color=maroon]he : can i have your name?
[color=maroon]she : why? don't you already have one?
[color=maroon]he : shall we go see a movie?
[color=maroon]she : i've already seen it.
[color=maroon]he : where have you been all my life?
[color=maroon]she : hiding from you.
[color=maroon]he : haven't i seen you some place before?
[color=maroon]she : yes. that's why i don't go there anymore.
[color=maroon]he : is this seat empty?
[color=maroon]she : yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
[color=maroon]he : so, what do you do for a living?
[color=maroon]she : i'm a female impersonator.
[color=maroon]he : hey baby, what's your sign?
[color=maroon]she : do not enter.
[color=maroon]he : your body is like a temple.
[color=maroon]she : sorry, there are no services today.
[color=maroon]he: if i could see you naked, i'd die happy.
[color=maroon]she : if i saw you naked, i'd probably die laughing.
this was so funny, i couldn't stop lauging!