Pizza Hut of the Future

  1. Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"
    Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
    Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"
    Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
    Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
    Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
    Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is Which number are you calling from, sir?"
    Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
    Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."
    Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"
    Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will
    add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"
    Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
    Special pizzas."
    Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
    Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
    Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
    you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your
    National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
    Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"
    Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like
    Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
    Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
    library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
    Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."
    Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids,
    and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."
    Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
    Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
    Your credit card balance is over its limit."
    Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
    gets here."
    Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn
    Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
    Howlong will it take?"
    Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
    minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a
    little awkward."
    Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"
    Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your
    car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
    Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"
    Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
    July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on
    September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge." "Oh yes
    I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional
    Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
    Customer: (Speechless)
    Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
    Customer: "A two liter of Coke".
    Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this.
    Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"

  2. Visit Dave ARNP profile page

    About Dave ARNP

    Joined: Sep '03; Posts: 1,214; Likes: 61


  3. by   Chrislynn2003
    :chuckle Thanks for posting this.

  4. by   jnette
    Oh MY !!! :uhoh21:
  5. by   darla80
    Now that is hilarious.. makes me think of alll the 280 pound pts we have that come into our office and say .."I do not understand why I can not lose weight . I do not eat very much..."

    They would be the people on the line ordering the doublemeat pizzas and the 2 liter coke.. if only they knew we could watch them HMMMM

    Thanks for the smile!! :chuckle :chuckle
  6. by   Dave ARNP
    I saw this and thought... I wonder if it COULD happen?

    Glad ya'll enjoyed it!

  7. by   Diary/Dairy
    I just saw this - I don;t care if it is a few years old - it is still funny and it made me laugh!!!

Must Read Topics