Nurse Poem (too funny)

  1. Also found on the SNURSE-L listserv.

    > A nurse's job goes on and on,
    > doing tasks from dusk to dawn.
    > There's mes, there's records, and requests to write,
    > running tests all day and night.

    A nurse's job goes on and on,
    and on and on and on and ON,
    There's screaming patients down the hall,
    In 13, Aggie's had a fall.

    > Though busy with input on computer lap,
    > they fluff up pillows so I can take a nap.
    > The nurse of today is the doctor's right arm,
    > guiding the patient through sickness and harm.

    Our pillows are all canvas-coated,
    Concrete-filled and rather bloated,
    We try our best demands to meet,
    But - this sorry doctor's all left feet.

    > A compassionate nurse in word and deed,
    > is always there in time of need.
    > It's from A to Z the jobs that you do,
    > we can't make it through life without assiatance from you.

    They never come when he's unwell -
    I'm hammering this *******' bell!
    How'm I s'posed to get a bottle...
    (This screaming child I'm about to throttle.)

    > I've seen this nurse in many a land,
    > from hospital ship to war's blood soaked sand.
    > Through pain and sickness; lost hope and dispair,
    > the corpsman, the nurse, you are physically there.

    My dearest dream, my fondest wish -
    That my next nurse be speaking English!
    Through ten long hours, no how, no way,
    Couldn't understand a word she'd say.

    > I may never need a nuclear tech.
    > But without a nurse my life's ship is sure to wreck.
    > Praise the Lord, your heart cries a nurse is here.

    Life's ship be damned, my 'roids are smarting,
    Leave off your senseless, endless charting!
    Ring cushions by the truckload... oi!
    That electric wheelchair's not a toy!

    > It does not matter if you're young or old,
    > the touch of a nurse has the warmth of gold.
    > I'm just, as you see, an old military guy,
    > but I've received your compassion from land, sea, and sky.

    The old ones moan, and wheeze, and creak;
    The young ones dither, far too meek
    To drag me off this comfy bed
    And walk me, like the doctor said.

    > As I'm finishing life and all my friends have died,
    > give me a blessing from God and put a nurse at my side.
    > Yes, praise the Lord my heart cries as I glance through a tear,
    > it's like back in Mom's arms when the Nurses are here.

    My nurse is fully six foot three,
    No mother in compassion he,
    But "mother"'s what I call him when
    He treads on my damn oxygen!

    Brian Short
    WORLDWIDE NURSE: The Internet's Nursing Directory

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    About Brian, ADN

    Joined: Mar '98; Posts: 15,431; Likes: 16,404 founder; from US
    Specialty: 18+ year(s) of experience in CCU, Geriatrics, Critical Care, Tele