Nursing Application Essay Feedback please!!

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So I had to answer the question "Why have you chose a career in nursing?". Please if anyone can read my very rough draft so far and give me some constructive criticism that would be great. I am hoping to be very specific to my life story and not overly general. Thanks in advance!

My dream of becoming a nurse was ultimately solidified for me when I lost my father. For most of my life I can remember telling my parents that I wanted to be a nurse when I grew up. My mother was a registered nurse and I wanted to be just like my mom. I wanted to be the exact type of nurse that she was, someone who was incredibly educated and well trained to care for patients on a deeper physical, spiritual, and emotional level. I have always been interested in how multifaceted nurses are in caring for patients. How amazing I thought it would be to say that I saved someone's life or that I even helped bring new life into this world. However, instead of pursuing this dream I ran from what I always thought to be too hard and unattainable for me. I did began college with the idea of nursing in my mind, but ultimately chose a path in communication studies because at the time I thought the science courses were incredibly hard in the pre-nursing program. So instead of pursuing a nursing degree I went this route instead and never gave nursing another thought. After college and earning my degree in Communication studies, I still found myself working in the medical field. Nearly two years out of college, instead of working in journalism like I had planned, I found myself working in Ophthalmology. It was during these years that I began realizing how much I truly loved direct patient care. I enjoyed my patients and learning how to interact uniquely with each one of them. There were several instances I was jokingly asked by my doctors what I was paying my patients, because the doctors in the office were receiving such positive remarks from the patients about how their experiences were when working with me I loved coming to work every day and increasing my knowledge in the field of ophthalmology. There were several instances where I was able to set up and assist with minor office procedures of which I really enjoyed. I performed diagnostic testing as well as prescription eye examinations daily. I felt amazing knowing that I could help in the process of diagnosing and treating eye disorders and diseases. After a while I decided that I wanted to get my certification as an ophthalmic technician. Most of my reasoning with this decision stemmed from the fact that although I knew I wanted to be a nurse, this new path could possibly be easier. In the past I felt that I spent a lot of my time running from things that challenged me. The closer I got to becoming certified after a few weeks of preparation, the more disappointed in myself I became that I was choosing such a limited path for my life. You can only advance so far in the field of ophthalmology, so I decided that just maybe this was not the path for me. Within this time, my family had begun dealing with what would be the hardest loss we have ever experienced. My dad fell incredibly ill and was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer and did not have much longer to live. My family visited with him nearly every day weeks before he passed. I was there, fully immersed into that very same environment I have longed for, the hospital, but for the absolute worse reason. My father was surrounded by extremely caring nurses who were very well educated in how to care for him during such a difficult time. Being able to be there for a patient and their family is very important during times like this and I felt that every nurse my dad had, emulated such amazing qualities of human servitude. They were there for everything he needed and not once did they worry about their own needs. I want to be that type of nurse, providing the same excellent care to my patients. I found myself there in his room, revisiting all those longing feelings that I had for so many years. My father laid dying before me and all I could think about was how precious and fragile life is. Instead of being fearful all those years I could have spent my time proving to myself and my family that I too could achieve my goal of becoming a nurse. I can remember telling my dad for several years how I wanted to be a nurse, and I know he believed in me and knew I could do it. But instead I chose to be fearful and take the easy route. I found myself in a very hard place and after losing my father, I decided to no longer let the fear of failure rob me of my dreams. I lost him, and there was nothing I could do to change that. But I knew that I had to prove to myself and the rest of my family that I would no longer allow fear to take precedence over my dreams. Not even three weeks after losing my father I began a nurse aide class, followed by my pre-nursing pre requisites. I began challenging myself more with every task I had and working as hard as I could to get an A in every assignment. I know that I have what it takes to emotionally and spiritually connect with my patients, but I wanted to ensure that I learned as much as I could to provide them with the best physical care that they deserved. Caring for patients in my perspective involves mind, body and soul and I feel that as a nurse I can and I will be able to connect with them on all of those levels.

I'm sorry I don't have any constructive criticism, but I loved your essay. It is well written and fluid.

Aww thank you so much!! I do appreciate your feedback😊

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