Nurse Manager going back to bedside nursing

[Meg11M21]

Hello!

I decided to post this discussion only because I myself have been looking for some advice on it. I have been a nurse for about 7 years, and have managed for about 4. Mostly ER and ICU. I have been in healthcare since I was 16- working as an Aide in the ED, then as a bedside RN, then as a manager. I went all the way in school.... Received my Masters in Nursing executive leadership. I knew what I wanted to do with my degree and I went for it. I started managing at 27yrs old.

Through a merger of hospitals my position as ED manager was eliminated. I took a unit manager position in Sub-acute rehab, and have been here for 8 months. I attempted to get back into the acute care setting with no success. My degree didn't matter, my experience didn't matter. It was like I stepped of the critical train and landed on the easy train, and no one would take a second look at me to manage an acute care unit or even as a supervisor! (even though 6 years of my nursing degree has been in a critical care setting.) I am not saying sub-acute is easy by any means... it is it's own special kind of difficult, this information was provided to me by recruiters, who told me that once you find yourself in LTC, its very tough to get out. I felt like I lost sight of what I wanted to accomplish, and what I wanted to do with my degree.

Through this experience I decided to take a step back from management and go back to the ED though a travel agency. Finally... I accepted an assignment locally at a Level 1 trauma ED, and am so excited to get back to the basics. (I'm surprised they took me and so was my recruiter....since I really haven't had any clinical ED experience since 2015) I got so lost, and off track.

I loved the ED, and even though my job was eliminated, I accepted the next thing out of fear for foreclosing on my home, and not having a paycheck. I needed a job, as I am single and the mother of a pooch!

I am taking this opportunity to start over. I was so young when I started managing, and I feel like I've missed out on a lot of things I should have experienced first. I am essentially disrupting myself.. to get myself back on track to what I wanted to do all along. (management to director)

I guess I am looking for any managers who have experienced something like this. Any managers who left management to get back into bedside nursing? And if you made that decision, how to you feel now? Will you ever go back to management?

I cannot imagine I am the only one who was a manager and is now thrilled to not have to answer the phone at 0200 when the unit is in shambles, Or be expected to work 10-12hrs/day to cover your unit after already putting in 40hrs that week because nurses call off and life happens!

I love my degree, and I enjoyed managing, but I feel as if the responsibility is starting to get to a level of impossibility, In LTC facilities and Acute care settings. Expectations are starting to wear on me.

Anyone else feel the same?