NP to MD

tired resident · Jan 6, 2012

As a nurse (RN) that decided I did want to learn more, understand the entire disease process, I went to medical school and I am now a 3rd year resident with 18 more months of nonsense left. I am also older, have children, and work 2 jobs just to make things work.

It is utter hell, I have "started over" late in life, feel like I have to work harder than the 20 or 30 something guy or gal sitting next to me (probably self-created delusion and I am the only person being this critical on my performance). I have missed a lot of my kid's activities but I have also attend many (just out of fear I would not be there for them) so probably no more than if I was a nurse working 3-4 12 a week to pay the bills. I am tired and look forward to completing residency.

I have learned a lot and am completely happy with my decision to go to medical school so late in life because I feel like it did answer the questions I was looking to answer. I really do like my job and have a great deal of personal satisfaction with just going to work and look forward to it. I did realize though that there is far too much to learn and as an EM doctor, I only know EM, and all of the other sub-specialties are foreign to me and well out of my scope of practice. I put in chest tubes, central lines, arterial lines and intubate patient but in no way am I a surgeon. I had such a distorted view prior to medical school, this idea I would "understand" medicine and now 7 1/2 years later realize I know very little and there is just too much to know and learn to possibly "know it all"

If you feel like medicine and think medicine is for you then go to medical school right now! Do not hesitate, get off the couch and drop all excuses. It will suck and your life will be miserable but in the end you will be glad you did it. I am glad I did it and find work fun (not to say some days don't suck when 40 patients check in to the ER all at once) but in the big picture I am completely happy with my choice. I had to compete prerequisites which delayed my starting medical school and the constant testing during school and residency (boards, and in-service exams) make training more laborious but all doable and I will soon be able to leave that all behind.

The way I look at it I am going to be x years old whether I go to medical school or not (unless a plane falls out of the sky and hits me) so I should enjoy what I do. This is what I repeated day after day as I cursed my decision on some days. Ooverall, if you are considering medical school and as some have posted have not found being an NP the vehicle to create job satisfaction then you should go to medical school and I think in the end you will be happy with your decision.