Not sure if I should stay in the program

[Allie031]

So I am currently in my second year of a four year BSN RN program. I have never been one of the people who have a huge passion for nursing and grew up wanting to be a nurse. However, I applied when I didn't really know what I was going to do with my life and I got in, so I took that as a sign. I actually really enjoyed my first year, albeit I did get kind of tired of clinical (long term care) for its repetitiveness.

This past summer my father died suddenly and unexpectedly after a simply procedure went wrong. I decided to continue with the fall semester thinking it would help take my mind off it. At the beginning it was going well, but now I'm not sure if its burn out(2 weeks left of semester) or what but I hate school and find clinical repetitive. But what is making me reconsider it the most is I'm not sure if I want to work shift work, and I don't want to work with sick people. I find it makes me constantly think of my dad and makes me have a pit in my stomach any time any of my patients get new results or have to have more tests run in fear they will have a terminal diagnosis.

I'm conflicted because I want to be with people and help them feel better in these bad times, but don't want it to break me emotionally if that makes sense. Should I defer a year and take this time to find peace? Or continue on, and pursue a career in public health, perhaps as a speech pathologist(enjoy kids), other venues?

TIA!

[MrsPacman81]

Hello,I would like to start off by saying that I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like you are still morning your dad. I don't think you should quit the program. Maybe you need a break but your dad knew how much you wanted to be a nurse so don't give up. However, if you decide you want to take a different route in patient care, I am sure you will find your niche. Best of luck.