Not so full of awesome-ness any longer.

[Eirene, ASN, RN]

Hey guys,

I'm a new grad who was hired on a critical care floor (PCU) at a great hospital. They only hire one new grad at a time, so I was very grateful I got the job! The average nurse turnover is 9-years. It truly is a great place to work. My orientation is 6 months.

I have an excellent preceptor. She is so smart. She's an older lady (65-years-old) and she's so patient and kind with me.

The first month, so was hovering over me-- which I didn't mind and I actually needed. This week she has given me more line; I'm now the primary caretaker and she's there if I need help.

We've been taking the hardest patients on the floor (vents, STEMI's, brain-bleeds, etc.) I'm feeling very overwhelmed. Everything comes so naturally to these nurses; I have to stop and think about what I need to do.

I just feel so insecure. One of the doctors continually yells at me every time I see him. Earlier this week I told him a patient wasn't doing well-- he went from sucking a straw at the beginning of the shift to barely being able to do hand-grasps. His CT of the head was negative the day before. When I reported my findings to the doctor-- he said, "You lie! You not trying hard enough!" He then ordered an MRI and it showed a 4cm intra-axial hematoma. We had to life-flight him to a major hospital. Another patient wouldn't respond; I tried a sternal rub, fingerbed pressure, all of the works-- but her vitals were fine. I called the doctor 2X and he said, "she's just got to sleep it off." I bugged him so much over the phone that he finally ordered lasix, solu-medrol, and narcan. We ended up having to code her a short while later.

The other nurses say that the doc's just don't like or trust new grads-- but damn. This stuff really is life-threatening. I wish they would listen.

Then the PCU has protocols. I'm having a hard time remembering them. I have the CP protocol memorized, and we can insert a foley without an order if the patient hasn't voided in 8 hours. But I missed an important protocol-- to order an ABG (on the personal who coded). I feel awful.

I'm just feeling very inadequate. I feel I should be more advanced than I am since I've been there for a month. My patient load is 1:3. I'll be moving to 1:4 next week and I am scared. We don't ever have a patient load over 4 because the patients are pretty critical-- thank goodness for that.

I also started a BSN program a few weeks ago online. I'm truly regretting it now. I hope there is enough time to drop. I'm having a difficult time adjusting to being a new nurse, being a mom and wife, keeping up with the house, and then taking online courses.

Is it normal to feel so inadequate? Will this get better?

[RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN]

Yes it is normal to feel inadequate and yes it will get better. Be optimistic. I just got off orientation, and almost quit during orientation because it got so bad. So many mistakes I made, so much going on, it was overwhelming. I can say to you that it will get better, just hang in there. These things you forget....the thing is, you won't forget them again. You're still a student, you're going to make mistakes. but you learn from these mistakes.

The longer you work the more competent you will feel. Just hang in there, it gets better.

[Jolie, BSN]

Is it normal to feel so inadequate? Will this get better?

Yes and yes.

Hang in there, honey. Other than the jerk physician, it sounds like you are in a really great place.

Next time he tries to hassle you, remind him of how your assessment skills and patient advocacy saved his patient with the brain bleed, and his rear end.

You're doing just fine :)

[nrs2bgrad2010]

I'm not there yet, but as a human being and possible patient, I would much rather someone like you bug a doctor too big for his pants. You are the patients advocate when they can't be, and although they should be, sometimes the Dr.'s are not. Stick with your gut and education don't let them shake your confidence, and get your patients what they need. Good Luck!

[Eirene, ASN, RN]

Thanks so much for your reply; I feel a little better.

The scary thing is... I'm already an RN. I'm doing my RN-BSN program. I'm calling my academic counselor this afternoon to see if its too late to drop. I think I've bitten off more than I can chew at this point in my life.

[Jolie, BSN]

Thanks so much for your reply; I feel a little better.

The scary thing is... I'm already an RN. I'm doing my RN-BSN program. I'm calling my academic counselor this afternoon to see if its too late to drop. I think I've bitten off more than I can chew at this point in my life.

I believe that the first year of working as an RN is the most stressful and time/labor intensive period in one's career. If you can stay in your program doing just one class at a time, that may work out for you. If not, I don't think there is any shame in delaying your formal education for a year. Best of luck to you :)