Stacy: As a mother who's also been through neonatal loss (my second child who lived seven hours after birth), I hope you will accept my condolences on the passing of your precious Zoe. I know how bad it hurts, and I can tell you that it *will* get easier as time goes by, but please don't expect yourself to "get over it". One does not get over the loss of a child; you may get through it, and even past it, but NEVER over it. No matter how many children you may go on to have, you will always wonder what might have been; my daughter Melissa would have been 19 this past March, and I will never stop wondering what she might have looked like or who she might have turned out to be.
That's not to say, however, that you shouldn't pursue your career, or even work in the NICU; in time, your wounds will heal some and you'll be able to make peace with your loss. For me personally, I could never in a million years work with sick newborns because of what I've gone through---losing one would do me in emotionally even now, and I don't think that's going to change. My father told me once that "time, patience, and perseverance will accomplish all things". Let time be your friend, your teacher, your healer, and don't put yourself on a schedule that only allows you so many weeks, months etc. to mourn. Trying to put grief away before you're ready is like squeezing a balloon: it's bound to come out somewhere, usually when and where you least expect it. Be patient with yourself; you don't always have to be strong. And keep on with your search for happiness, because someday you will find it, I promise!
Good luck and God bless.