New Winders Program

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

it has come to our attention that a few copies of the windows 2004 kentucky edition may have accidentally been shipped outside of the state of kentucky .

if you have one of these, you may need help understanding

the commands. the kentucky edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. it reads: winders 2004, with a background picture of willie nelson superimposed on a bottle of jack daniels.

please also note:

the recycle bin is labeled "outhouse"

my computer is called "this dern contraption"

dial up networking is called "good ol' boys"

control panel is known as "the dashboard"

hard drive is referred to as "4-wheel drive"

floppies are "them little ol' plastic thangs"

instead of an error message, "duct tape" pops up

changes in terminology in kentucky edition:

cancel............stopdat

reset.............try'er agin

yes...............yep

no................nope

find..............hunt fer it

go to.............over yonder

back..............back yonder

help..............hep me out here

stop..............kwitit (whoa!)

start.............crank'er up

settings..........settins

programs......... stuff at duz stuff

documents....... .stuff ah done did

also note that the kentucky edition does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. some programs that are exclusive to winders 2004:

tiperiter....a word processing program

colerin' book.................a graphics program

cyferin' mersheen.............calculator

outhouse paper................notepad

inner-net.....................microsoft explorer 5.0

pitchers......................a graphics viewer

we regret any inconvenience it may have caused. if you received a copy of the kentucky edition, you may return it to microsoft for a replacement version.

i hope this helps all y'all!

billy bob gates