new rn but not new grad...opinions?

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I am a newer nurse as of 2014 but not a new grad. I'm now on my 2nd job transfer (not because of anything serious, one switch was due to a new grad position I couldn't pass up since I was about to lose my 'new grad' title per definition on job description and the last was because of an out of state move). Anyway, I know that the first year of nursing is the hardest (went through it, past it) but for some reason I feel like something is off and am wondering if that is normal. For example, I feel I am very competent some days, others not at all. I go home and always reflect and always think of things I could have done better. I am extremely hard on myself and notice myself blaming myself of things that aren't my fault (but they are in my mind because they were under my care at the time) and I hate complaining but I find myself doing so. I find myself wishing I was one of the senior nurses who seem to be confident 99.9% of the time and not feeling down when they get yelled at by docs/teammates. They all say "well that's the reality" but I can't decide if it's just my perfectionist personality that makes me want more out of myself or if I actually need help. I have spoke to managers/preceptors about this before and no one seems to think it was a problem but it kills me to keep reflecting and finding things 'wrong' whether it actually is or not. I have a gratitude journal and a nursing scrapbook so I can see everything I've gone through but still am harsh on myself and perhaps anxious about being perfect. Is this normal? Any opinions appreciated. Thanks :)

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
I find myself wishing I was one of the senior nurses who seem to be confident 99.9% of the time and not feeling down when they get yelled at by docs/teammates.
The level of confidence and poise exhibited by seasoned nurses will only come with time and experience. My advice is to keep learning, ask questions as needed, and realize that nobody is perfect.

Good luck to you.

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If there's anything I learned from nursing, it's that you trust no one, and honesty is not always the best policy. I felt this same way while on orientation. I even questioned why I loved nursing so much at one point that I've invested so much time and effort to achieve my dreams. However, don't let anyone doubt you and why you did what you did! Have you thought about maybe the unit isn't right for you? Maybe you and your peers are not connecting. I can say it's normal because I felt this way as a new grad. I'm still a new grad, had a bad experience with orientation, but I am trying to stay positive and tell myself everything happens for a reason. I hope you figure it out. I hope and pray each day that one day I will be that happy nurse that feels 101% comfortable and I will support new nurses and provide assistance in the way I wish I had gotten, but didn't receive.

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If there's anything I learned from nursing, it's that you trust no one, and honesty is not always the best policy. I felt this same way while on orientation. I even questioned why I loved nursing so much at one point that I've invested so much time and effort to achieve my dreams. However, don't let anyone doubt you and why you did what you did! Have you thought about maybe the unit isn't right for you? Maybe you and your peers are not connecting. I can say it's normal because I felt this way as a new grad. I'm still a new grad, had a bad experience with orientation, but I am trying to stay positive and tell myself everything happens for a reason. I hope you figure it out. I hope and pray each day that one day I will be that happy nurse that feels 101% comfortable and I will support new nurses and provide assistance in the way I wish I had gotten, but didn't receive.

I loved my teammates at my previous job, seriously couldn't have asked for a better team or manager and all my half yearly/yearly reviews were great also. This job I haven't been here long enough to judge but it seems great so far and have no complaints except for what I posted about which is basically my own problem. I have considered just switching settings in general, I've done home care and med/surg. I was hoping that I would find a 'specialty' I want to do but haven't found that yet. I'm passionate about education and prevention, so before my current job I considered taking a case management position for illness prevention/decreasing hospital admits which is EXACTLY my dream job (on paper), but I figured I wouldn't be the best case manager yet with my minimal experience. I know some companies hire new grads for case managers but I wanted that general experience first and I'm still in the process of that, I learn multiple new things every day. I know I will never know everything but I want to at least feel more confident before I switch.

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The level of confidence and poise exhibited by seasoned nurses will only come with time and experience. My advice is to keep learning, ask questions as needed, and realize that nobody is perfect.

Good luck to you.

I figured, thanks so much. I'll be there one day... I would still be a nurse if I could do it all over, can't see myself doing anything else.

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