New at nursing and ready to give up....

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Well, nursing school seemed like the longest two years of my life, and before I knew it: poof, it was over. I excelled in school and graduated at the top of my class, I packed my bags, took the NCLEX, and moved to Oregon all in the same day.

I moved to a state that isn't experiencing quite the same situation as other states (I moved from Florida where the job opportunities and nurse recruiter phone calls were endless.) However, the same opportunities did not surface in Oregon.

I had to pretty much take the first job offered (after two months of endless job searching and no return calls from recruiters). I am currently working on a post-surgical unit and am not presently enjoying my life, nor my job.

I work at a small hospital where the new grad training pales in comparison to that of other hospitals: six weeks of orientation and then your off on your own. I am also working 8 hour nights, 11p-7a, which is taking a huge toll on my personal life. Everyone I work with is nice enough, and if able, they are helpful at times. However, the nurse coordinator for my unit went on a hiring spree and we are currently overstaffed. At present I've been off orientation for 2 1/2 weeks and I have only worked 2 shifts on my unit. Yeah, what have I been doing for all this time? Well, mostly I've been "on-call". I have worked a total of 5 out of 10 scheduled shifts---floating to other units to "sit" or "task".

I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. For example, the other night I had inherited a mess from the evening shift--I had a blood transfusion going on a patient (I've NEVER even done a transfusion, just learned about them) who never had a consent form signed. I just had to fumble my way through it and hope for the best. Sure I ask questions, and people help, but this is not what I had in mind for training. The same night, I had a patient's significant other wake up to use the bathroom, and he slipped, fell, and cracked his head open. Awesome. I also had a patient whose peg tube leaked (well, gushed really) and I had to call the doc, and then got reamed from the oncoming day nurse for various reasons. (Please keep in mind this was my 2nd night taking patients on my own, the first time was 2 1/2 weeks previously). What's worse? I'm not even being given the opportunity to work through it, so every time I get called off, the fear of going back builds. I have had more bad nights than good, and while I hear that this is normal, that I probably won't feel good about what I'm doing for the next year or so....I'm just not sure I can take much more. My confidence is sinking, I am constantly beating myself up, I seldom feel that I provide the care I should/nor do I have the time, and critical thinking? I am lucky if I even have time to read progress notes (which is almost never). I am tired of laying a wake in bed all day (while I am supposed to be sleeping) thinking about this patient, or whatever happend to so and so....and I feel sick to my stomach all the time.

I have scheduled an interview for a SNF tomorrow....I am beginning to think I am just not cut out for hospital nursing. I have also applied to roughly 134 jobs in the past two months.....and so far only one call back. This is sooooo disappointing, but living an unhappy, unhealthy life is worse.

Is anyone else feeling the same way?:o:o:o:o

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I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this. It doesn't sound as if your orientation was adequate for your needs and you deserve better than that. Don't be too hard on yourself. The first year of so out of nursing school is very difficult and it sounds like you have gotten off to a rough start with a hospital system that does not take care of new grads. Don't write off hospital nursing yet. Speak to your manager about your concerns and see if anything can be done. Could you possibly switch to days or some other shift that has less cancellations? What about transferring to a different unit? Are you actively contacting the other hospitals that you apply to and asking about opportunities?

I think that you should go to the interview for the SNF. Interview experience is always good and you may discover that it feels right for you. On the other hand, it may just be that you need to give it more time. Working two shifts is not nearly enough to begin to feel comfortable and know what you are doing. That won't happen for quite awhile (at least a year). It doesn't seem right that you are always getting cancelled though. Again, I would check about changing to a shift or unit that has a greater staffing need.

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Specializes in Hematology/Oncology and Medicine.
well, nursing school seemed like the longest two years of my life, and before i knew it: poof, it was over. i excelled in school and graduated at the top of my class, i packed my bags, took the nclex, and moved to oregon all in the same day.

at present i've been off orientation for 2 1/2 weeks and i have only worked 2 shifts on my unit. yeah, what have i been doing for all this time? well, mostly i've been "on-call". i have worked a total of 5 out of 10 scheduled shifts---floating to other units to "sit" or "task".

augh! it's too soon for you to have to float, you are just getting used to your new unit, plus you are new to the field.

i feel like i have no idea what i'm doing. for example, the other night i had inherited a mess from the evening shift--i had a blood transfusion going on a patient (i've never even done a transfusion, just learned about them) who never had a consent form signed. i just had to fumble my way through it and hope for the best. sure i ask questions, and people help, but this is not what i had in mind for training.

blood transfusions sound scary at first but the more chances you have to do them, the better you will get.

i get called off, the fear of going back builds.

man, we've all been there. you feel like "oh god, what am i going to get tonight?" no matter how much prep you do, the feeling will be there for awhile. and you can't prepare for everything, because the reason why people are in the hospital is that they need nursing care.

it's true if you think about it, they can go to the clinic to see their physician, but specifically they are there to see us because they are unstable, and we need to help them get stable. but you'll always walk into something that you have never seen before. i had a blood transfusion reaction happen the other night.

i have had more bad nights than good, and while i hear that this is normal, that i probably won't feel good about what i'm doing for the next year or so....i'm just not sure i can take much more. my confidence is sinking, i am constantly beating myself up, i seldom feel that i provide the care i should/nor do i have the time, and critical thinking?

ah, the beauty that never gets taught in school that is at the core of nursing. i seldom feel i provide the care i should nor do i have the time. that's what they don't teach you, and you end up learning out in

the field. i won't lie to you, it won't really get any better in that aspect, we all come to the realization that healthcare industries make millions of dollars and "could" in theory lighten the pt load, but then comes the american ideology of "well if i give them too much, but just a little bit too much, they won't have the time to goof off and waste money." thusly pt loads are always overloaded and likely will always be that way.

i am lucky if i even have time to read progress notes (which is almost never). i am tired of laying a wake in bed all day (while i am supposed to be sleeping) thinking about this patient, or whatever happend to so and so....and i feel sick to my stomach all the time.

not a fun feeling. it takes time, or medication, or talking to someone about it or sometimes all 3 to get through this part. it's tough to take care of a bunch of sick people who are in pain, and still be able to take care of yourself.

i have scheduled an interview for a snf tomorrow....i am beginning to think i am just not cut out for hospital nursing. i have also applied to roughly 134 jobs in the past two months.....and so far only one call back. this is sooooo disappointing, but living an unhappy, unhealthy life is worse.

yup the other part of being a new grad. finding the first job. sure there is a nursing shortage, but nobody likes to hire new grads unfortunately, so i remember the 90+ applications i filled out before i got calls back, unfortunately pretty typical.

is anyone else feeling the same way?:o:o:o:o

yuppers. it'll get easier, and you can't beat the learning curve no matter how hard you try. i know cause i tried too. but having this experience will benefit you down the road. what you chose to do is very, very hard and the work is worthwhile, you should remember to give yourself credit for how far you have already come, and all you've learned. way to go!

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Specializes in Rural Health.

I'm sorry the job outlook isn't what you hoped/wanted/needed in Oregon and it's a shame that you are in a position where you were shafted on your orientation and then you have been called off more than 1/2 of the time since getting off orientation. Neither one of those are acceptable situations for a new grad and you have to face them together.

You are obviously not in a situation to move to an area that has a higher need for nurses and I'm sure you've alreayd exhausted all your resources at your current job for better conditions (orientation, not being called off, not being floated, etc...). So - you need to do whatever it takes to take care of YOU and if that means trying another aspect of nursing....then go for it!!!!

SNF might be exactly what you want and need right now and there is no better way to find out than to go to the interview and ask the questions.

Good luck and keep us posted!!!

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Specializes in Perinatal, Education.

Why did you move to Oregon in the first place? Was it a good enough reason to keep you there at this point? You might want to consider relocating back to Florida or maybe to California? You had a horrible orientation for a new grad and you can't make judgements on your ability in the hospital setting based on that. I'm sure you can probably get another new grad position with a better orientation if you explain your reasoning. Please don't give up your hard-earned career because of a bumpy start. I am not down-playing the SNF--you may love it. Good luck to you.

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