Ok, so here it is...AGAIN!!! (I say again because so many of us have posted a message about feeling inadequate and not getting what we think we should from our 1st positions. So, here's another.
Since becoming a nurse in July, my 93 year old grandmother has had pneumonia twice, ended up in a rehab facility due to inability to complete ADL's herself (my mother can't handle her alone), now my grandmother has bronchitis. Then my mom has had 2 bouts with bronchitis, and now they think it is a sinus drainage problem which they are trying to make explaina chronis barking cough she can't get rid of. On top of that, I just seem to dread going to work with each passing day, hoping for something (anything) to come up which will give me a reason not to go to work. I have had co-workers (fellow new nurses) sya to me, "just endure until we reach a year, then we can move on". It is sad when every new nurse that has started since June all feel the same way (get the year and leave). I have even had some seasoned nurses tell me the same thing (and I haven't said anything to them).
I used to want to go to work to be a fabulous nurse, but when I saw that in reality I can't be the nurse I know I'm capable of being due to the demands placed on the individual bedside nurses. Then I would go to work because I worked with great people, and though that has changed a bit...some are still fabulous. Now that is not even enough to get me out of bed. I just don't want to be there anymore. I like being a nurse, I just don't like the nursing I have been doing.
