I graduated with my nursing degree end of 2014. I had already made a decision before graduating to take a break and do some travel for 6 months before finding a nursing job, as the degree was intense and i hadn't stopped studying since school.
Throughout my degree, I found the stress of placements exhausting and mentally draining. I often would go home after hospital placements (i didn't find community placements as stressful) crying and not wanting to continue my study & become a nurse. I really haven't enjoyed the hospital work.
With suggestions from friends and family, I continued and persevered with the degree as i was already halfway when I was doubting whether i wanted to even be a nurse anymore. I really am not a fan of the burnt out, under-staffed hospital wards however i absolutely love caring for people and find so much reward from this.
During my study, i pondered on whether to study teaching. That was still caring. Just in a different way. I have done a lot of babysitting/nanny work and love working with kids.
I just got back from my overseas trip/break 3 weeks ago and since then have been trying to find a new grad nursing position. Mainly because I feel I should still give nursing a go, as i am registered (in my country you become a registered nurse after sitting the state examination at the end of your final degree year).
I feel that if i don't give nursing a go now, i won't ever be able to.
However, the thought of working in a hospital really does not interest me. In fact, it makes me extremely nervous and worried-which has very likely been brought on from my fear of hospital placements.
Throughout all my placements, I did pretty well. I got average or above average feedback from preceptors and made a good impression. It was my lack of confidence and fear of being constantly assessed which would get me down.
I am currently relieving at early childhood centres to earn while i look for a nursing position.
However...I am still so unsure whether i really should become a nurse.
Whether to do nursing, or teaching, or something else.
It is such a difficult decision. I really need a proper job to earn money and save (i am getting married early next year) and i am 22, and would really like to begin my career.
What on earth should i do?
If I was to begin nursing, am i good enough for it? After being out of the degree for 6 months now and not having learnt loads of clinical skills, i feel i still have so much knowledge and skill gaps!
I have heard if you are passionate about something, and willing to put 110% in, you can do anything. So does that mean i am capable of becoming a nurse? a good nurse?
Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for taking the time to read this long message! :)
