New grad and scared to work

new_grad · Jun 8, 2011

Same boat. Same med checks. Same terrified feeling of messing up. I've talked about it with a few of my instructors and they all say they've made med errors and anyone who says they haven't is lying. Um, am I cheering you up yet?

An interesting thing happened to me last semester; I went into the semester terrified of running IV meds because I had only had a few opportunities before that. The last semester I ran IV's every day of clinical and by the end, I was no longer terrified (I am still a little scared, and I kind of hope I can keep that aware 'edge' going forward). This gave me great hope I can get comfortable with many other tasks as well. Looking back at my CNA experience, I remember being so very hesitant and gentle giving a bed bath; now I'm a pro at it. Repetition, familiarity, experience, whatever you want to call it - I've got it, and I know it.

Remember, the vast, vast majority of RN's work their entire careers without so much as a ding on their license. Allowing yourself to freak right out about the worst case scenario (and I know, I've done it) is anxiety talking. Keep the "edge" but cut yourself some slack. You're no different than any other new nurse, EVER. :-)

vivibae · Nov 8, 2011

I passed NCLEX in Sept and started working in October. An old boss that I had in a Cancer center hired me as a registry nurse. It is nerve wrecking. All of my clinicals were based on a unit position in the hospital. My job is at a clinic and mainly its accessing port-a-caths for chemotherapy (which at this time I cannot administer because I have to be certified) and IV therapy. I do not have much experience with IV access. During school we had a fake arm that we played with but it is totally different when doing it on an actual person. I have attempted IV access a handful of times and can say that I was only successful less than half of the time. Unfortunately, for me most of our patients have port-a-caths so I dont get a lot of practice with inserting IVs.

After 1 week of orientation I began accessing patient's port-a-caths. I was feeling pretty confident. Then one day I had a patient where I missed and since then I have been TERRIFIED!!! I know that I cannot let this situation overwhelm me, but it is difficult to not feel anxiety every time I go to work. What adds to the anxiety is that I am not familiar with the medications that we are giving the patients. We had little exposure to chemo medication because it was considered a specialty.

I keep looking for other nursing positions in the hospital but I am also worried about being responsible for 5 or so patients. I am feeling very unsure.

2126 · Nov 8, 2011

I have been working for about 5 months now and am still literally on the verge of tears before and after every shift...I am petrified to come back each time and am praying it will go away sooner than later. I can't even enjoy my days off...so I definitely understand!!

lotrgoldberry · Oct 18, 2012

I passed my NCLEX last Wednesday and showed up on my BON website as an RN as of today. I thought I'd be over the moon, but I am actually just petrified beyond belief. I almost don't want to work as a nurse because I don't want to do anything to ever lose that precious license. It seems like no matter how careful I might be, a med error or other mistake is bound to happen eventually. And I feel if I keep going this slow (i.e., checking each medication about 50 times - only a slight exaggeration), I'll never get the hang of it and probably be fired - yet speed up too much and make a mistake, and not only are you fired, you possibly lose your license and suffer the horrible feelings that a med error must bring.

I know how you feel, I started working in August and I only had three days of orientation at my current hospital. I work at a urology unit but we have trauma pts and vascular pts and surgical pts. Management sucks at my work place and it feels that they only see negatives and never positives. I feel like I can't trust anyone of the staff that I work with because each one is only interested in covering herself up. There is no team work at where I work at. I cry when I go to work because I am scared, I cry when I leave work because I am nervous about going back and I cry on my days off because I have to go back. I know I should try and find another job and that is what I am doing now, but it is also difficult to find Nursing Jobs for new grads. I feel like I am driving my husband crazy and that I am burdening him with all my work worries. I never thought that I would hate nursing as much as I hate it now. I keep telling myself that it is just this unit, especially that other new grads and even old ones share the same feelings that I do and many are leaving the unit. I just feel trapped and it makes me feel sad because I know I am lucky to have a job at such a big shot hospital being a new grad and all but at the same time I hate the hospital for its lack of sympathy and understanding to its new employees and the lack of trust. I feel so lonely going to work that it breaks my heart because I am sure that we all had to go through a lot to make through nursing school and now this is the outcome. Sorry I am vending on your post, I just wish I can get some support and understanding'

YouSmellLikeCDiff · Oct 18, 2012

You guys are freaking me out! I graduated in May & I start my first job Monday. I have the same concerns. Nursing comes with a HUGE amount of responsibilities. Since we are constantly on the go, I feel it will be impossible to be a good nurse. I refuse to lose that license that I worked so hard to get!

GypsyNurse54 · Oct 18, 2012

I remember those feelings of terror, & I promise you they are 100% normal and those feelings will subside. With time and experience, you become more confident in yourself and your capabilities as a nurse. Your perspective will begin to change and you will learn not to sweat the small stuff as much. It took me at least 6 months off orientation to not feel like a 24/7 basketcase, so it definitely takes time. You will have lots of tears, fears, and anxieties, but it's all part of the nursing process (pun intended) so keep on being the fantastic nurse that you are!