I passed the NCLEX in CA on April 1. I've now been ward clerk for 3 days "orientating", and while I did get some experience (first foley!) and learned the MAR/charting a little more, I'm still far from prepared, confident or being stable. I'm on the schedule for NOCs starting May 1. There's 2 halls: ST1 has 52 residents. ST2 has...2, one nurse per hall. I'm slated for ST1 because I'm new and I guess everyone wants the kush hall.
My anxiety and SSRI is playing hell on my memory/metabolism of things. I'm having trouble remembering names of aides/residents, how to navigate the system, which charting is needed when, when to write clinical notes, etc. I'm not worried about med pass, I'm worried about remembering stuff and doing the right things/steps. I'm worried about mistaking something in an assessment for something else (wrong lung sounds, missing edema, etc) and not knowing how to deal with and chart it.
The other nurse on ST2 with their 2 residents are mostly registry, so they're not exactly familiar with the facility protocols either (nor do they ever venture outside their hall). I'm running so short on time and panicking every second.
I'm just very scared, my mind is wandering all over the place, I'm not receptive to learning this much, this quick. Any thoughts, pointers or advice? Anything would help.
Protect your nurse license at all cost don't put yourself in vulnerable positions. I feel for you and your not alone. Don't make the error in believing its all one big family there, its all good until someone gets their feelings hurt. In the end, you work for Corp and will be expendable and easily discarded if you become a liability. This is how the real world operates so again my best advise is cover your tracks. You will be the fall guy when something goes wrong no way you can make a difference with that kind of nurse to patient ratio. Meanwhile, Corp is making mad money. Take baby steps towards your goals as RN one class at a time if need be but don't get discouraged be strong make good decision that works best for your interest.
Actively looking for other jobs, it's very depressing TBH. As disappointed as I am that all my work and effort has lead me here, I'm even more anxious about actually finding a new nursing job, with such little experience, as an LVN. This corporation owns every LTC around here. I just don't want to do LTC any more, although, it seems that's all I may be qualified for. I can't. It's making me jaded, hopeless, a bad nurse, everything I don't want. I can't stand the drama. The entitlement. The horrible work ethic of most aides and some nurses; which doesn't seem to matter, the high ups only care about having somebody show up for work. If a pulse could carry a stethoscope they'd put it on 4 12's.
Tomorrow is my Monday. On my Fri of last week the oncoming nurse chastised me at the station, "there were a couple meds I found last week that you didn't pass..." The other nurse "helped" me on my 0600 pass, yet again. I'm not looking forward to going in tomorrow. The atmosphere is so depressing. It's such a high workload, I never take a breath and still barely finish.
It's surreal typing that because I've been here so short and leaving cuts off many avenues for me. But I just don't like this. I've gained no confidence as a nurse. No ability. No positive outlook for the future. Jumping to a bridge would be an easy go-to right now, which I can afford, but...part of me is wondering if this is for me. If I want to invest any more time for it to work out like this.
AZNurse13
9 Posts
Bobby,
Protect your nurse license at all cost don't put yourself in vulnerable positions. I feel for you and your not alone. Don't make the error in believing its all one big family there, its all good until someone gets their feelings hurt. In the end, you work for Corp and will be expendable and easily discarded if you become a liability. This is how the real world operates so again my best advise is cover your tracks. You will be the fall guy when something goes wrong no way you can make a difference with that kind of nurse to patient ratio. Meanwhile, Corp is making mad money. Take baby steps towards your goals as RN one class at a time if need be but don't get discouraged be strong make good decision that works best for your interest.